52 Weeks....to the Real Me

Minor Successes

2009-11-11T21:19:00.003-05:00

Well. I ... today wasn't HORRIBLE. It wasn't terrific. But I can live with myself. I didn't get to exercise (still kinda sick) but here's the food list:

zone bar

diet coke

easy mac-n- cheese
yogurt w/meringue
applesauce

2 mini bags of pretzels (halloween size)

McDouble (just sandwich - no extras. I said NO to fries. NO to cookies.)

3 tablespoons of cake batter

carrots and low fat ranch dip (I said NO to reese's peanut butter cup enticing me)
and I'm going to have a zone bar before bed.

I KNOW I need more protein.

Tomorrow are conferences. YAY. Home late. Food on the run -- I'm going to pack lots of GOOD food to munch on! NO PIZZA!

Thanks for all the support and advice. To answer everyone at once:

No, I didn't finish my 100 day burpee challenge, I made it to day 50 though!
Mom does try to hide the food - but in order to find things I DO NEED, I hunt. -- I end up finding bad stuff. (or like the Oreos hidden in the closet now - I know they are there)
Unfortunately getting her onboard in a productive way is harder, instead of not buy the stuff, she'd rather chastise at dad for eating it.

Again, thanks everyone. I'm going to be better about posting. See.. 2 days in a row! Now I'm going to finish Duplicity and head to bed. =)

40 days till Hawaii!!!
(Boss approved.. need to forward papers to the Superintendent... then I'm set!)

Advice and Encouragement Needed.

2009-11-10T19:07:00.005-05:00

Technically I'm on week... umm... I kinda lost count. I will re-calculate and CONTINUE. I knew I had slipped up. I knew I let things get to me. I knew I let myself go. It was bad. It was ugly and I ignored the evidence. I knew my clothes were getting tighter, I knew I was looking plumper. I ignored it. I blamed it on my schedule, I blamed it on monopoly, I blamed it on a stressful professor, I still - partially at least- blame my mom. But I know the only REAL person to blame is me. I put the food in my mouth. I sit on the couch. I "drove-thru" for 3 meals a day. I know part of it my own sabotage thinking-- that I can't do it in this environment. (My house and current situation) but the reality is -- no matter how hard it is... I HAVE to.

I went to the doctor last week and was forced to face the numerical reality of the past 3 months. I've gained back WAY TOO MUCH. And am now headed forward on my journey. I REFUSE to buy bigger clothes. -- in fact I have TONS of motivation to move smaller again. I'm going to HAWAII!! .... and soon. DECEMBER.

My environment will be my biggest challenge. I've managed to get my fast food addiction cured -- mostly because it costs too much (and I'm saving for Hawaii). But I know once I get back in the good habits -- for whatever reasons -- it will become second nature again. Dad has mentioned getting healthy too, but right now we face the same problem(s) -- a house full of (currently) 4 candy dishes and 2 cookie jars and often several types of chips and other junk foods, including chocolate milk (tons of sugar!!). I'm going to be back on the Zone. I'm not sure exactly which plan dad wants to follow but we have to get Mom on board and I don't know how.

I've tried convincing her she needs to eat better too -- by the way she bought a bag of "blonde" Oreos on Saturday. Today they were gone. She had 3, I had 6. (or maybe 9) Dad ate the REST in 3 days. He's diabetic. Do you see the problem? Yes, I know he needs to take responsibility for his actions and what he eats -- but if it's not there to tempt him (us) isn't that easier -- at least until the new habits take hold. One of my biggest issues in my latest relapse was due to Oreos. Seriously, How do I get her on board? How do I convince her that by enabling our binging and poor eating habits she is literally helping us kill ourselves?? I'm serious. We need help. I know I can't force her to do anything but how can we get her to UNDERSTAND? It's not that we are weak willed, it's not that we don't know better, it's HARD. This whole process is hard and she isn't helping. I'm tired of using excuses (her being the biggest one) but I don't know how to do this surrounded by pastas, cookies, candy, pizza, ice cream... etc. Like I said I've tried getting her to get on board with us -- even simple things like suggesting baked chips over regular ones. (to no avail.) Ok I'm done rambling.

I'm currently recovering from "flu-like" symptoms so as soon as I'm on my feet (and my appetite returns) it will be exercise and eating healthy for me. (and hopefully Dad -- and Mom-- too)

All advice welcome.

Game Over

2009-08-14T11:52:00.003-04:00

The waiting game that is.

If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Maybe this was just a glimpse of what COULD be after my 52 weeks are done. After all, the plan was not to do anything drastic until NEXT year.

Maybe I have more work to do at Mespo. Maybe it's not time for me to move on yet.

I guess now I get back to my regularly scheduled life. Finding a home for all the stuff in the garage, setting up the lab in it's entirety, finding a way to pay for college and wonder if I can handle it this fall, start going back to CrossFit...

Thank you everyone! for your support, prayers, crossed fingers, and well wishes. It is because of all your love and support that I believe I must have more to do at Mespo, that it is truly not yet the time to move on.

(and I assure you I have ideas. I just got done reading both of Rafe Esquith's books - "There are no Shortcuts" and "Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire". They are both great books that have spectacular ideas, leave me a little frustrated (that whole idea that you have to be in a tough inner city school to be considered a GREAT teacher) but overall inspired me to want to be a better teacher. To put aside the politics and red-tape, to handle administration and their demands but to find a way to accomplish what we are all there for - the kids. And not just teaching them about science or math, but teaching them how to be people. Responsible, caring people. ) -- if any Mespo folks want to borrow them, let me know! (aparently he also has a website for the Hobart Shakespeareans - his students) There is also a DVD documentary that was made, I just ordered it from Netflix!)

After reading these I guess I'm kinda glad I'm not going to the middle-class elementary school with 8 SmartBoards.. right? I have another year to make a tremendous difference to kids who maybe don't have it all.

**side note of good news... I don't have to blow my savings on a security deposit, and I think I can still save enough money to go to Hawaii!**

How do I cope?

2009-08-13T23:08:00.008-04:00

I'm a wreck!
I interviewed for a job this week. I really want it. I can't remember wanting anything this badly. Let me explain what's happened in the past week or so.
When I got home from Illinois I started applying at Dayton area schools. I found one I was particularly interested in, so I went ahead and filled out the entire online application -- you teachers out there know how tedious that could be! Two days later a DIFFERENT school called and said that they have a 5th grade math opening and will be interviewing next week (which was THIS week). So I of course called back and we set an interview for this past Tuesday.
I began researching the area, looking at potential apartments, seeing what all the school had to offer. It is amazing. They are the size I wanted, they have the clubs, sports, and philosophies I liked. It all sounds great. Their new teachers start Aug 20. (next Thurs) so I realized that IF I get the job I would need to move ASAP. So I contacted a few apartments through Rent.com and they contacted me back. Unbelievably -- they have some immediate openings.

So Monday, I drove down to the area to check it out, see the school, look at the apartments, and attend a board meeting. As I drove around town, I fell in love -- I tried not to, I know that could mean even a bigger heartache later. They have an arena that hosts concerts, and weekend ice skating, there is a park with frisbee golf and a community theater. The center of town has a fountain and a circle, the Miami river runs through town with benches and swings all along to sit and enjoy it. Oh yeah and there is a public pool with slides, fountains, and who knows what else. There is also a hike/bike trail that goes all the way through the town.

The apartment manager/owner is awesome. She was very friendly and even invited me to join her two golf leagues plus wondered if I'd be interested in tutoring her grandson! And the apartment.. not only would it be acceptable - I love it. The rooms are big and clean and there's lots of storage and even washer/dryer hookups. To top it off, the hike/bike trail passes right behind the building. It's in a cozy neighborhood, nearby to shopping, and less than 20 minutes from the school!!

The more I drove around the more I experienced emotions that I don't know what to do with. I would get these urges where I wanted to cry... in a good way. I was just overcome with the wanting this job so badly and feeling at home in the area. I could see great ways for the "new me" to accomplish everything I want to.

Even the board meeting went well. Everyone was very friendly and I learned that the school is in good shape.

Everyone has been asking me how the interview went. I'm at a loss as to how to answer that. I mean, I think it went well, sure there are some things I'd like to add, but I'm happy with it and I hope it was enough. I hope I said enough of the right things to set me apart and above the rest.

So the rest of this week I've been a mess. I'm trying to plan what I would need to do to move if I get the job, but I'm also trying not to get my hopes too high. So I'm trying to plan what I would do at Mespo this year. I'm trying to balance my excitement and hope with the possibility of complete, devastating disappointment.

I was told I would know by the end of this week. That leaves tomorrow. I don't know how to do this, I keep playing responses in my head, I keep preparing myself for the worst, but I can't help feeling excited and optimistic. Could it really be that this was meant to be? That this is where I'm supposed to go? Everything seemed to fall into place so perfectly. But I can't afford to think this way. It will make the pain so much greater. I've already allowed myself too much excitement for this situation. I've told way too many people about it. and I want it so badly. Whenever I think about the strength of my desire for this position and move, I literally want to cry because I don't know how else to express it.

My hope is that I get called early in the morning (either way) so I don't have to torment myself all day. I have things to get excited about at Mespo this year, we have new computers, I'm going to be in the lab, my friends are all still going to be there. Right?

Anyone with advice... I'm all ears.

No Such Thing as a Hard Decision

2009-08-03T16:08:00.002-04:00

I read that once. Of course now that I want to quote more about it, I can't remember who said it or how exactly it is said. Here's the gist:

There is no such thing as a hard decision. Decisions only seem hard when we don't like the answer.

I am in that situation. I realize that my decision was made on Thursday, but I kept an open mind. It wasn't until Sunday on my LONG drive home that I was able to look at it for what it was and come to terms with it.

I wanted SO BADLY to move to Illinois. I wanted to be part of Melissa's and her family's life. I wanted the boys to really get to know their Aunt Megan. I had visions of what life would be like. Sure, I found places that I could live in. But no where that I WANTED to live in. Nothing felt like IT, a place I could call HOME.

I feel guilty about it all. (well I did... yesterday) I dragged Dad (although he did volunteer) all around the corn country - 5 straight days of 8 hours in the car! I feel like I mislead the Wheeler family. But I remind myself the point of the trip was EXACTLY for this situation. Better to have checked it out ahead of time, rather than move blindly. I do not mean to offend those that live in Illinois, but they have no landscape. It's all corn and soybean.

As we drove home, and crossed into Ohio, I realized that I actually like Ohio. Weird as that seems. It also seemed disproportionate to move so far from MOST of my family to be near a small PART of my family. One time in my life I had that "I belong here" feeling. I didn't believe it existed, people told me about it. It's supposed to be the same feeling that tells you "he's the one" -- you just KNOW. I got that feeling walking through UD campus when I was a senior in high school. I'm wondering why it was so automatic for me to just "move home" after college. Why not stay there? (oh yeah, the whole job thing) Anyway, I did really like Cuyahoga Falls. I liked the State Park, I liked the trees, the nature, the uniqueness. (and the conveniences not too far away).

Both times in the past week when we've driven past Dayton I had a pang of "missing". I miss that area, I miss Meijiers!! But there is Yellow Springs, Young's Dairy, the Minor League Hockey Team, the UD Games --Football and Basketball, it's near to Cinci, and not too far from Columbus, there's the airbase museum and tons of Wright Brother stuff. Plus I KNOW there's a Kiwanis club there that I would fit into. I also realized a lot of my UD friends still live IN THE AREA.

I also calculated...it's only about 4 hours to Oakland (where Melissa will be) that's STILL by far the closest we've been! I could easily do a weekend trip for Birthdays and other special occassions. We could still go camping together in the summers. Realistically the places that I would be "happy enough" in near her, were still over an hour away, so I wouldn't go there very often anyway.

Plus this puts me only between 4 and 5 hours from my parents (Both Dad and I have made two ways trips in one day when necessary) but it's really not unreasonable. It also puts me about an hour from Ashley, so hopefully we'll be able to get together more often . (she's currently 2 1/2-3 hours away)

Teaching- Teachers are paid much better in the Dayton area -- at least compared to my school. Plus I don't have to worry about switching my license, taking additional tests, worrying about switching my retirement, etc.

When I got home last night, I did some quick research on jobs -- found a few still open and applied for them. But I also looked at some local apartments. They seemed price comparable to those I was looking at in Illinois but they are on beautiful properties with unique floorplans, and most allow even BIG dogs!

I dare you to look at the pictures of these apartments:
Arbors at Yankee Vineyard
Spinnaker Cove
Harbour Club

This feels better. This feels right.

So what about that Rainbow I saw? Well, I misinterpreted it. Actually, I fibbed a bit when I told you about it. I was concerned when I saw it, that I had to turn around to see it. IT was over Dayton. We were pulling away from it... toward Indiana. At the moment I saw it, I knew. (But didn't want to know because I wanted to move to Ill) My rainbow was centered in OHIO.

Oh yeah, and there are 4 CrossFits within 30 minutes of the Dayton area!

I really never thought I would say this... but Ohio really is pretty. Those midwest farm states don't know what they're missin!

Illinois Day 5

2009-08-03T15:50:00.003-04:00

Our last day was spent mostly in Indiana and Ohio!
We drove around Charleston a little, to see the downtown area, then headed toward the Indiana Line. On the way out we visited Marshall.

Marshall was pretty nice. The downtown still had a lot of businesses, the schools looked nice. There were some conveniences right by the highway. We didn't stay long.

Dad watched his phone as we crossed into Indiana so he could see when the time changed. His phone changed a little less than a mile before the border, we figured it switched towers to an Indiana one then!

We stopped at a Sonic. We have Sonic commercials on all the time, but the nearest Sonic to us is in Columbus, so I demanded that we stopped at one and ate. It was pretty good! The Sonic Blast was good too, very creamy.

I must say that Indiana claims to be the "crossroads of America" and I believe it. I kept track of the license plates we saw on our journey. Here are the states we saw ON CARS (note: for Indiana, Ohio, and Illinois, we did see cars with those plates when we were in OTHER states)

Arkansas
Texas
Arizona
Colorado
Florida
Georgia
North Carolina
New York
Utah
Nevada
Alabama
Kansas
Oklahoma
Indiana
Illinois
Wisconsin
Pennsylvania
New Jersey
Tennessee
Kentucky
Missouri
Ohio
South Dakota
Michigan
California
Maryland
West Virginia
Virginia
Minnesota

On semis we also saw:

Oregon
Washington
Nebraska
Iowa
North Dakota

Plus we saw cars with

Ontario

So on our trip across 3 states, we saw representatives from 34 states and 1 province. Not bad!

We arrived home safe and sound, and I went to sleep. =)

Illinois Apartments

2009-08-02T10:28:00.003-04:00

This is really for my own benefit. These are apartments I liked, or sites to help find apartments.

Sites
Central Illinois Virtual Earth
University of Illinois Tenant Union
News-Gazette: Search Classifieds, Rentals - Champaign area
Herald-Review: Charleston area

Champaign
http://www.gardencourts.com/apartments/twobed.html
http://www.burnham310.com
http://www.manchester-apts.com/index.php

Savoy
http://www.johnsonrentals.com/BlackAndBlue/Properties/Savoy.htm (also have Champaign locations)

Charleston

Illinois Day 4

2009-08-02T09:52:00.005-04:00

Today I took Dad on a perimeter tour of the ENTIRE region.
We headed out on 57N where we saw a Semi flipped on its side, the highway was closed and traffic was backed up for miles. Luckily we were on the OTHER side of the highway. We then headed west on 36 where an insistent woman was on my tail, then passed me, then pulled over and tried to flag me down, then was on my tail again. I finally pulled onto a side street to see what she wanted -- but she kept going. We saw her about 1/2 mile down the road talking to someone else on the side of the road. She looked like she may have been lost... but then WHY flag down a car with OHIO plates? How could we possibly help? So we ventured on to Decatur.

Decatur - this was a spur of the morning trip decision. I looked at their website- they have a zoo, a children's museum, some nice apartments, so it seemed reasonable. Perhaps we came in the wrong side of town and didn't explore quite enough. We didn't see much, but we also didn't have much time. I'll give it potential, if I get to see the rest of it and it's nice. We did stop and a Burger King where I got an "Apartment Finder" that included just about all of the towns we visited! cool!

Next we traveled back to Champaign to visit Savoy, a small town just south of Champaign.

Savoy- This is my number one prospect I think. It is Champaign schools - a large district, but it has a suburb feel and many modern conveniences such as a Subway, Running Store, Movie Theater, RollerSkating Rink, etc. We drove through two apartment complexes. They were very nice, probably a little expensive, but I could easily call them home.

We drove back through Champaign and Urbana to check out Danville. On the way through we saw a really cool apartment building. You can check out their website, Burnham310.com. I bet they are very expensive, but I think I'd really like living there!

Danville- Danville looked great on the map and great on the website, but like so many other towns really rather diappointed in person. The schools weren't even that impressive (as some of the other towns') We drove around a little then headed out of town. (back to Paris) Danville was the home of Gene Hackman, Jerry and Dick Van Dyke, but I don't think it will be of mine.

On the way we passed through many small towns -- including Bloomfield -- I think it was less populated than ours! But we passed through Westville who claims to have had the first night football game back in 1928. It seemed like a very nice town, the schools looked great (from what I could see passing through on 150) It's small, but seemed quite nice.

I wanted to venture back to Paris to see if I could see all the other great things that were depicted on their website, no such luck. The downtown is virtually vacant, most of the homes were rundown -- the DQ was nice! We didn't stay long as we were being treated to a HOME-GROWN, HOME-COOKED meal in Oakland.

Oakland- Today we drove through town a little, checking out the schools, and the little town charm. They had the coolest/scariest water fountain and some really neat old buildings. We then headed to the farm to meet up with Melissa and her family and have dinner. Grandma, Tim's grandma, cooked Tim's favorite roast beef, some noodles, home grown corn on the cob, home grown green beans, home made apple sauce, and served home made banana cream pie for dessert. Yum! After dinner we went for a stroll around the farm and down the lane to the old cemetery. One guy was born in 1784!!! We had a great evening. We even got to see an OLD hanging glass fire extinguisher (you can see a similar one on ebay).

We have one more town to check out on our way back home.

Illinois Day 3

2009-08-01T09:09:00.004-04:00

We awoke early (having gotten our showers the night before) and headed straight to... Cracker Barrel. We've now eaten there 3 times. =)

After a yummy breakfast we drove North to check out Tolono, Mahomet, Rantoul, Urbana, and Champaign. We also added Tuscola to the list, got a glimpse of Savoy.

Tolono- I'm beginning to see a trend with these small towns. They are very cramped on the inside. Although I get a kick out of knowing "where the town ends" -- you run into a cornfield. They did have a very nice school complex (Jr High/High next to each other) and a brand new, large library. The streets were kind of a maze and there are some new large houses being built in the area. Also there was this one old farmhouse in the center of everything, cornfield included. It was 3 stories high -- that's the house I want! lol (picture courtesy of Virtual Earth)
We drove through Savoy and Champaign to get to our next stop- Mahomet.

Mahomet- The schools looked great, the secretary was very friendly, she was actually the secretary for the preK-K building. They even had smaller railings lower for the kids to reach- in addition to the adult ones. There isn't much in town. A DQ, a few gas stations, an orthodontist, a pizza place. Everyone seemed very friendly and the houses were nice. I'm not sure about there being any rental properties though. Champaign is only about 10-15 minutes away, so "big shopping" is not too far away.

Rantoul - I think this was my favorite of the day. It was the one I was hoping to like the least, since it was the furthest away, but it immediately had a suburban feel, the secretary of the superintendent was very nice. There was a huge park next to the middle school -- even had a skate park in it. There is an Air Museum, with some huge airforce planes from the olden days. Just like with any town, there are nice parts of town and not so nice parts. It does seem like they have most of the "modern conveniences."

Urbana- I had figured of the two, Champaign and Urbana, I would like Urbana better because it was smaller. Silly me. Urbana is well.. very urban. Everything is close together, and rather rundown. (at least from what we saw as we traveled between the schools and the superintendent's office. Dad said he saw things chained down in the yard, presumably so they wouldn't be stolen, not exactly the kind of area I want to live and work in. Champaign looked more promising.

Champaign - First of all - IT'S HUGE. There are some really cool apartments on the IU campus, but after investigating when I got home last night, they cost significantly more. The schools all seemed nice, the once I tracked down (there are SEVERAL, 3 High Schools) We drove around the city quite a bit. Just like everywhere else though it felt kinda cramped, narrow streets, houses close together. But we found several neighborhoods that were more spacious, lots of parks, pools, and Champaign does offer about every shopping convenience.

On the way home I decided to stop by a small town that had OUTLET STORES.

Tuscola - Very small, schools were nice. Outlets were ok, I actually went to the Jockey one and talked to the ladies inside. One happens to be an "aspiring teacher" she's been subbing at the school for 2 or 3 years and is hoping to get hired. Her overall opinion was a bit bitter. It was a nice little resting point, but I don't think I'll really consider it.

We returned home (to the hotel), Dad took a nap and I surfed the web. I was searching for apartments, re-researching areas. Someone had asked it I was going to check out Danville, I hadn't planned on it, but I might on Saturday. I was also researching Walmarts and Targets just to get a feel of where they are, how far they are etc. I'm having doubts as to what I want, my natural assumption is that of course I want all the major conveniences, but then I think - how great it would be to live more simply, without all the commercial stuff. I guess this is something I'll have to ponder more over the coming months. Another town that keeps popping up that I've been doing some research on is Savoy.

Savoy- Savoy is part of the Champaign school district but it located just out of town (to the South) They seem to be the most "suburban-like" place. They share a library with Tolono (see above) and have a movie theater, book store, running store, Subway (restaurant, not train) and are within 10 minutes of Champaign and all it has to offer. I'm going to see if we can ride through there again on Saturday.

So I guess that's it -- oh we did find Mattoon's Walmart, we stopped for some diet coke and diet pepsi where it occured to me -- "do the Illini call it pop or soda??"

*We also watched Eagle Eye, it was a pretty good movie!

Side Note: We noticed that on the local news, they make it a point to report GOOD things that are going on in the community.

Illinois Day 2

2009-07-30T21:57:00.006-04:00

So today we drove quite a ways around Illinois today. We went to Charleston, Mattoon, Shelbyville, Paris, and Oakland.

Charleston - This is where we are staying. So far I think it's my favorite. As in- the most like what I'm used to. I met the assistant superintendent. He was very nice. (even recognized that I was a math person -- due to my Pi shirt!)

Mattoon- The town right next to Charleston. It was ok. It seemed rather run down. The assistant superintendent there was also friendly. The schools looked great! The high school was a huge complex with every sport field imaginable!

Shelbyville- It seemed to take forever to get to. (about 15 miles of farmland) I wouldn't like being that far from everything. There is a large lake (formed from the Army Corp of Engr. Dam) that would offer good recreation. We "accidentally" visited a cemetery -- more flowers than you can imagine. Almost every single grave had some type of flower arrangement. Dad pointed out-- "these people must really care about their families." We wandered around (ok we were kinda lost) but we made it back to town. Some rundown mom and pop stores were in town.

Gays- Ok this is like a tiny blip on the map between Mattoon and Shelbyville, but the sign caught my attention -- TWO STORY OUTHOUSE. So we stopped. In reading the signs I learned that originally the general store was built here and it had apartments above it. To prevent the tenants from having to walk all the way downstairs (and share a bathroom with the public) to the outhouse, they built a second floor with a bridge to the apartment porch. All that is left is the outhouse itself.

Paris - Paris was a front runner on paper. We (I) passed the street we needed and ended up in Indiana (oops!) The schools looked nice, from what we could see. We ventured to Sunset Park, that area seemed a bit rundown, kinda trashy. But I saw some of the COOLEST flowers. I want some. But I have no idea what they are. We saw them in a bunch of yards and even in Oakland too. I might want to visit Paris again, to see the main downtown.

Oakland - When we left Paris we went through Oakland so I could see Melissa's future house. Very nice. =) I think Grandma was even outside! -- we didn't stop. We stopped for gas. $2.39 =) much better than the $2.67 I paid yesterday!

Charleston Part 2- We explored more of Charleston this evening. We saw the schools -- look really nice and in one large complex. There are some nice parks, including the Rotary Water Park. I'd like to go swimming there. It even had a huge waterslide. We also found a "rich development," a cool apartment complex near EIU (Eastern Illinois University), and I had Little Caesars for dinner -- first time I've had that in about 10 years!!

We are now watching some tv and heading to bed early so that we can go to the Champaign-Urbana area tomorrow.

Illinois Day 1

2009-07-30T10:20:00.003-04:00

So Dad and I ventured across the Midwest to check out Illinois. I am looking forward to exploring the area. The drive wasn't too bad. We had a minor detour in Columbus (Dad's oops). When we crossed into Indiana I found a way to bribe Mom to come visit me -- Warm Glow. However before we go there we hit a bad rainstorm, that rainstorm was made worse by the glaring SUN! Ok, you science people... what does a rainstorm + sun equal? YEP. A BEAUTIFUL rainbow stretching from one side of the sky to the other and VERY bright. Unfortunately it was behind us and I couldn't get a picture of it. The rest of the journey was spent heading into a gorgeous sunset, complete with sunrays beaming down through the clouds. I take this all to be a VERY GOOD sign. (see my thoughts on religion post -- which will be written soon).

The much anticipated blog update.

2009-07-30T10:18:00.001-04:00

Where do I begin?
Last weekend I went to Syracuse to hang out with my best friend and her family. She has 3 little boys, ages 8,6, and 1. This was the 2nd time I’d seen the youngest, Lincoln. The 4th or 5th time for the middle, Cole, and about the 6th or 7th time for the oldest, Leo. That’s rather pathetic - 7 times in 8 years! 2 of which were in the last 6 months. (and 2 were in the first year). I’m ashamed. I’ve always been bad with keeping up with long distance friends. (Melissa and her family have lived in 4 states since we were in College -- none of which was the state I lived in and they are moving to state #5 (8hrs away from me) next Summer.) This situation is especially bad because this isn’t just some friend I haven’t kept up with, this is someone who is like a sister to me.... to her boys, I am AUNT Megan.

So this Spring, as I was deciding who I really wanted to be, I decided that I want to re-connect with friends that I’ve lost touch with. Facebook has been greatly beneficial in this endeavor. I’m proud to say that this summer I’ve communicated with Melissa, Ben, Mandy, and Matt with regularity. (I’ve also been catching up with other college friends, family members, and high school classmates.)

One night back in April, Melissa and I were talking -- actually ON THE PHONE, and I was at a fork in the road. The school wanted to RIF me (reduction in force) so I needed to figure out what to do with my life. I had not intended on staying there for long anyway, but still, decisions needed to be made. I’m still living with my parents, driving an hour each way to work, and not feeling at all like a 30 year old. *I have since qualified for a continuing contract and am no longer under the threat of RIF* But as we were talking Melissa suggested that I move out to the same area of Illinois that they were going to move to. Hmmm.

2 winters ago I was all set to move. I had done research as to the various areas I was interested in, where teaching was better (i.e. pay, unions, retirement, etc) and Illinois had actually come out quite high. But I hadn’t actually considered it because I had no real reason to go there.

So this proposition was an interesting one. I thought about it. I talked to some of my trusted co-workers about it. I eventually mentioned it to my parents, once I was fairly certain it was something I was seriously considering. Living in the same area would give several perks -- I would have a girlfriend. A real friend that I trust, could go out with, could hang out with. One that KNOWS me. We’ve been friends since 1st grade! (That’s about 25 years!)

Ok, so about my weekend (that was now 2 weekends ago!) I was nervous. Nervous because, even though I’m a teacher, I’m not very good with little kids. Or I should say more specifically I don’t know how to act with them. (Why I want to teach OLDER ones!) I was worried because they (the boys) don’t know me. I’m just some stranger coming to their house. I’m hoping that the more I see them the better I will get. I think back to how my mom acts around her nephews (she’s got a ton of them). Well anyway, I got there LATE Thursday night. Friday during the day we went to Target (the boys and I explored the toy section while Melissa shopped for a bachelorette party gift), then we went to the MOST, a Science Museum. It was pretty cool. I’ll post pics eventually. They had a toothpick city!! (1 of 2 in the world, the other is in Spain). Then we headed out for the evening. (Just Melissa and I ..lol) We went to a nice restaurant and then a Karaoke bar. (I’ll comment about the Karaoke bar later...remind me)

Saturday (after my bout with severe back doms) we headed to the beach (Lake Ontario, actually). It was a great day. The kids swam, built sandcastles, we ate lunch, played on the playground. I was feeling more comfortable. As we were driving back to Melissa’s, I was thinking about how nice it would be to have them in my life more. To see them on a much more regular basis. To have that special Aunt-Nephew relationships with them. As we were nearing their house we saw a rainbow - the kind that goes from one side of the sky to the other!

Rainbows have a special significance for me. (See My Religious Beliefs post). To me this was a sign. A sign that the way my life was heading was the right way. That I was meant to be in their lives more.

I had a lot more I was going to say about my trip. But since it’s taken me two weeks to write this, I can’t remember everything I was going to say. So I’ll end it here. For now. I have much more to add.... eventually.

Note. The other posts mentioned in this have NOT been created yet. I’ll let you know when I type them!!

Early!

2009-07-23T22:00:00.003-04:00

For the first time all week I'm a tad bit ahead of schedule.
I'm going to take advantage of that -- so my long blog will have to wait another day or so.

CrossFit - made it. did it. loved it. Ok I loved the rowing part. I don't know why I like rowing so much. I do know I'm getting better at it. I am much better at keeping my knees between my elbows! My fastest 100m was 26.4 sec. I did a total of 1400m today.
We also had to do Hang Power Cleans - which I had never done before.
I did 4 rounds
- just the bar - x15
- bar +10 - x 7
- bar +10 - x9
- bar +10 - x10
(yes I do tend to get better as workouts go on. I've noticed this in general!)
**my notes on TheBarn site, I'm FlyerMJ**

Went to class - am feeling much better about my ability to pass!

Took dad to get his truck, then we went to storage.
I went through my books, packed my kitchen stuff, while dad swept up mice "pellets" THANKS DAD! (thankfully the mice didn't ruin anything!)

Why do I have SO MUCH kitchen stuff? Tomorrow night I'm going through it. I'm sure I can't need ALL of it.

46 burpees done
As mentioned earlier, I get better as a workout goes on -- at least to a point. My first 10 burpees were down right painful. There was cracking, and popping, and groaning but by the second 10 I was cruising right along (in fact the second 10 turned into 15!)

So I'm off to shower, read a little of my book (He's Just Not That Into You), and head to bed BEFORE 11PM!!!

I needed this book. Thanks, Sara for suggesting it! You, and it, told me exactly what I wanted (and needed) to hear about Boy #1 -- as well as Boy#2 and some things I needed to know about some previous guys too. I know I'm worth more, and I will believe that there is the RIGHT someone out there -- hopefully in Illinois!

I'm going to see The Ugly Truth Tomorrow. I can't wait!

Catching Up... slowly

2009-07-22T22:53:00.001-04:00

I'm reading a book about time management. Hopefully I'll be able to use it REAL soon!

Today I did a total of 75 burpees (45 required- 30 toward my deficit)
Mom and I went for a mile walk. (slow pace)

I'm struggling with homework -- took like 2 hours on it.

Tomorrow's plan...

UPDATE
Class
Homework
Burpees
CrossFit

not necessarily in that order.

Calc 4?

2009-07-20T23:13:00.002-04:00

Are you kidding me. The first words out of my prof's mouth today was "this class should be called Calc 4." I'm in for a wild ride.

I slept in (much needed) -- no crossfit today :(

I worked on my storage unit today (for like 4 hours!)
Then took Dad to drop off his truck.
Went to water flowers at the cemetery.
Did homework.
Did 43 burpees.
Now heading to bed.

My big update will have to wait, as I really want to get to CrossFit tomorrow. (please don't hate me...lol)

Illinois travel plans have also been altered.. looks like I may be going Wed - Sunday next week.

Update Soon

2009-07-19T23:58:00.003-04:00

It was a great weekend. I have a lot to share, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Basics:
Worst DOM's.
Didn't do Burpees Sat.
Made some life decisions
Question some beliefs.
Made up some burpees.

-- details coming real soon.

Happy Friday

2009-07-17T10:42:00.003-04:00

So I made it to CrossFit yesterday before traveling to Syracuse.

It was an "easy" workout. I did my 39 burpees (did an extra one for fun) then worked on Deadlifts. (Here is Charlie doing deadlifts in the CrossFit Games)

I warmed up

I used the lighter bar (about 33lb). The weights below DO NOT include the bar. This is just easier for me to remember how much was on each side.

x5 - 20lb

x5 - 40lb

x3 - 50lb

x2 - 60lb

x1 - 70lb

x1 - 80lb

x1- 90lb

x1- 100lb

PR - 133lbs!! (100lb + 33lb bar)

After I was discussing burpees with someone and did 2 more, bringing the day's count to 42!

Then I drove to Syracuse... arrived about 1 am.

This morning I got up... puttered around, then went out and did my 40 burpees. (I miss those nice CrossFit mats... today was on PAVEMENT!)

My left foot is acting up =( I'll have to tend to it.

Syracuse... here I come.

2009-07-16T11:17:00.003-04:00

So I spent all of last evening preparing for my trip to Syracuse, while preparing a presentation on a man who was from Syracuse. Of course they are two COMPLETELY different Syracuses. The former is in NY, the latter is in the Mediterranean!

So yesterday's workout.
Warm-up was actually kinda fun -- balance work and agility. I do like the ladder.

The WOD.
Medicine Ball Cleans and Slams (10lb)

I had to do 15..14..13..12....1 Slams while my partner did 1..2..3...4...15. Cleans. THEN
I had to do 1..2..3..4...15 Cleans, while my partner did 15..14..13...12...1 Slams
So, if you pair it up properly you see we had very little break when we were in the BIG numbers.
It was hard.
I liked the slams, they were actually kinda fun as I got into them.
It was a LOT of squats.
The last 3 sets of cleans took everything I had. My muscles were screaming at me.
We finished with 25:10
I'm sore.

I was smart though, since I got to the Barn early I got 30 of my burpees done BEFORE the workout and I did the last 8 after, so I didn't have to worry about doing them when I got home.

Food Triumph Tuesday -- My teacher brought cupcakes and they sat next to me for TWO hours and they smelled absolutely delicious. Notice I said SMELLED.. because I didn't even TOUCH them. But do you know how hard it is to avoid sweets when they are within reach and smell sooo good?

Food Failure Wednesday -- Ok, I woke up extremely tired, I needed caffeine, I was almost to class and thought I was going to fall asleep. So I went to Dunkin Donuts. A creamstick and an iced mocha thing. =(

Next week (when I return from Syracuse) I'm going to be looking at my food decisions harder and finding a better plan.

Do you think I'm crazy for doing all this CrossFit stuff? Are you afraid I'll end up like a female Arnold? Have no fear and read this article: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/strength-training-women/

I think that's all I have for now.

Oh yeah... signs of addiction --
I'm putting off leaving to see my best friend and her family in Syracuse by an hour or so SO I CAN GO WORKOUT!!!

Short and Sweet

2009-07-14T23:45:00.000-04:00

Sore as heck. (especially quads)

Warm up was harder than workout.
Warmup included push ups, pull ups, dips, and box jumps.

Skill- front squat. Kills my wrists.
Warm up
x3 just bar
x3 just bar
Work -
x3 bar +5
x3 bar +10
x3 bar +15

my wrists gave out after 3 reps. I'm working on it.

Team workout.
2500m row (I did 700m)
250 sledge hits (I did 60 I think)

Tonight.. did my 37 burpees, then in an explanation I did an extra one. And WAIT. I did an extra one on Sunday!!! I showed them how to do them on the golf course. I don't recommend doing burpees on grass wearing golf spikes -- actually quite slippery! I believe that means I only owe 12 more!

To bed... lots of planning to do.
- pack (going to Syracuse for a mini-vacation)
- finish Discrete HW
- finish Numbers HW
- finish Archimedes Presentation

PR PR PR!!!

2009-07-13T22:23:00.007-04:00

Personal Records!

I'll start with the beginning...
warm-up was
burgener's
10 each leg single arm barbell step ups (10lb)
10 wall balls 14lb
750m Row (just under 5 minutes, averaged just over 3min/500m -- it was just a warmup)
10 front squats (just the bar) First time being able to do them properly!!!

Skill of the Day - Push Presses
x5- 45 lb (bar only)
x5 - 55lb
x5 - 55lb
x5 - 55lb
x5- 60lb (PR)

Then the workout... It was a team effort. Each of us had to run 800m, then when we were ALL back we had to do a combined 300 air squats, then we had to each run 1 mile. For those of you who know me well, know that the furthest I've actually run -- without walking -- is 400m this year, I may have gone a touch further last year, but I really don't think so.
I DID IT!! I RAN (jogged) the ENTIRE 800m!!!

My team helped me out on the air squats they each did 115 and I did 70.
I walked most of the mile, but I did make efforts to run when I could. I was hurting, had stitches in my side, felt like I was going to puke, I'm still (3.5 hours later) not fully recovered -- of course the burpees didn't help either! I'm coughing -- and it hurts. This has to be the HARDEST workout I've EVER done.

My time... for the whole workout.. was 29:43.

I'm exhausted.

I did do my 36 required burpees -- and they were the hardest yet!!

Thank you everyone for the advice, I have a lot of thinking to do... and I have to do it quickly. Issue 2 might disappear after this week -- schedule changes. Eeek!

Melissa S., I'll be writing back to you as soon as I get a minute.

I need advice

2009-07-12T22:56:00.003-04:00

07.12.2009

But First... some exercise news.

So I spent the first 4 hours of the day preparing for my math test (tomorrow). Then I rushed to the golf course, leaving my cell phone (!!) and hat ball mark behind! I really wasn't running late, but I felt rushed anyway. As I was scurrying to my cart I heard a familiar voice call my name (more about this later). So here's the interesting part, once I got settled on the cart I needed to run into the clubhouse to wet my towel (helps me keep my clubs clean). I LITERALLY ran... it was fun. I felt motivated to jog a little then I took the steps 2 at a time. It's been a LONG time (maybe never) since I just had that kind of energy.
Then just as they are about to set us off to our holes (it was a shotgun start) I realized we didn't have a blanket for the seat. (we were riding -- and the seats are vinyl - they can be uncomfortable in the sun) so I RAN.. yes really... jogged the WHOLE WAY to my car. I would estimate it to be at least 200m if not more. I even ran most of the way back. It was EASY. It felt natural. I didn't feel like a big bafoon blopping across the parking lot.
Unfortunately my golf came was a late arriver. It appeared on about hole 12. But-- our team came in third at 5 under. (not bad for having 2 bogeys!)
I came home... did only my mandated 35 burpees and finished studying my math.

Ok the good stuff. - the stuff I need advice about.

ISSUE 1
Remember that "familiar voice" that called my name? I'm confused. Last summer I met a guy. We golfed together. We had fun. As the fall arrived we started hanging out on the weekends. Movies. Drinks. "Bonfires." More golf outings. Parties. etc. Nothing ever "happened" but I did have a bit of a crush on him. We were even supposed to golf in our golf league together this year. Things were going great. I thought, anyway. Then all of a sudden (as of Nov 1) he quit talking to me. Just quit. The end. I texted a him a few times. Occasionally he'd text back. I had actually found him a little something for Christmas... he did text me a thank you while we were texting about bluray players. Then nothing again.... nothing until TODAY. Well actually, I texted him a few weeks ago to tell him about an upcoming concert I knew he'd want to see. When I heard that voice call, I looked and couldn't believe it. Here he was. At the golf course (not the one we golfed at together) Shook my hand, gave me half a hug, asked how I was, said he got my text about the concert and that he and few of his buddies were going. (but of course, I had to go get ready to golf so that was the end of the conversation.) So my confusion is this. First - why quit talking to me all of a sudden like that? Then... ok so that's the way it is.. fine... why say hi? why not let me just go about my business, it wasn't like I even knew he was there? (he looked better than ever too, I might add.) If anyone has any possible explanation for this behavior I'm really curious.

Of course the complete irony is that on the way to the course I was thinking about him. And how I liked him in much the same way I liked Luke (my ex-boyfriend) We started out having fun, being friends, and then I started to "like them." Which to me is a warning sign that they are just meant to be friends. I was thinking that maybe I only THOUGHT I liked him, but really that's what friends are. Of course, seeing him... I remember how CUTE he is! and that smile.. but anyway... he engages in some bad habits that I disapprove of -- the biggest of which is smoking. bleh.

ISSUE 2
Ok... so as I was pondering my past relationships and interactions with various people I must include the newest guy. I don't want to give away too many details but here's what I know. I've said very few words to this guy and I feel like a complete and utter idiot when I do. I never know what to say. I've found myself in his immediate proximity and become a completely bashful fool. The other day, he was in my personal space (not that I minded) but he seemed to stay there -- not saying a word either. Not necessarily looking at me or anything... just there RIGHT next to me. I don't know what to make of these feelings. I mean for those of you who know me well (or who can judge me properly from my blog) know I'm not very often at a loss for words... yet can't even imagine what to say to him. I just learned his name last week (and that's about all I know). Any advice? Could he be interested?
I will say that I know he's seen me at my worst -- a complete sweaty mess from working out-- I also think he's significantly younger than me (but out of college!) But that doesn't REALLY matter does it?

Please help.

Oh yeah. I was also thinking today (and I didn't even have long car rides today!!) that I'm really truly beginning to feel like the person I WANT to be. I think back to who I was 5 years ago, 3 years ago, even just a year ago, and I'm amazed. I don't even feel or think those ways anymore. I like it. (and I give major props to Luke for putting up with me through my extreme relationship naivete, I really had no clue.)

Sorry I have no pics for today. Although-- I would have had an awesome of two little white tail deer fawns playing on the golf course -- but since I had forgotten my camera as well as my phone... I just have the mental image. :(

Is the Craziness over yet?

2009-07-11T21:07:00.004-04:00

07.11.2009
I have one more week of crazy classes, then things will calm down a little -- I hope.

The good news-- while I've been behind in blogging... I have been keeping up with all my workouts and burpees!

So Tuesday was the crazy rowing day. Wednesday was easier.

Wednesday we had to do agility drills - which I actually like and am pretty good at. To do agility drills essentially you "play hopscotch", hop, jog, do the "typewriter" and such through a flat ladder. Well as we were doing them, the person in front of me was struggling, so I had to stop. As I was getting started again, my toe got caught on the ladder and I "messed it up" -- messing up the ladder is a penalty of 5 burpees. I took advantage of that, to cut down on the burpees I owed. (these are not us, but this is the kind of thing we do!)

The main WOD was overhead squats, essentially maxing out. Overhead was a bit too tough, so must of us women did back squats (where you set the bar on your upper back)
Well unfortunately my arms and upper body maxed out WELL BEFORE my legs even got close.
I had a hard time getting the bar positioned -- it was heavy. lol. But once I got into the squat it was too easy. I'm not sure how to fix this.
My warm-up squats were
3 x 45lb bar
3 x 35 lb bar
2 x 25 lb bar
Maxing out -- weights include the 35 lb bar.
1 x 45lb
1 x 55lb
1 x 65lb
1 x 75lb
1 x 85lb

I had not problem doing these weights at all as far as my legs were concerned. I just had a heck of a time getting the bar where it needed to be and balancing it.

In addition to the 5 extra burpees I owed, I did my daily 31.
Side note: I'm watching the CMT Country Music Awards -- a rerun and I just learned that Darius Rucker (Country Star) is the former lead singer from Hootie & the Blowfish. (I guess if I paid attention to the names of people in a band I would have realized this sooner) Cool!

Thursday
Today was supposed to be an easier day since it would be day 4. (most people do 3 days, rest one, then do two more. but because of my schedule I've been doing 4 on 3 off)
My punishment for coming on day 4 was to row a 2000m. You can read about my fun rowing on Tuesday. So Today I did my burpees FIRST. (all 32 of them!)
Then I started my row.

I'm proud to say that I rowed straight through -- no stopping for a break. I finished my 2k in 11:59.5 which puts my pace at 2:59.9 (according to the monitor on the machine). On Tuesday I averaged 3 mins for my 500m. I am quite proud that I was able to keep that same pace for the entire 2k. It was NOT easy. My legs hurt, my back hurt, my arms were sore. But WOW did it feel good!!!
(A rowing machine -- in case you haven't seen them) In the past I've only done stationary rows - or rows with barbells, I've never done them on the "sliding" rowers before. It kills my legs!

Friday.
Rest day. It would be great if that were true. I did rest most of the day. About 10:30 I started my burpees (much like I will tonight). I was watching a movie (Music & Lyrics) and did them in chunks of 10. I did 43. (which takes 10 more off what I owe!)

I had a minor meltdown... I stepped on the scale. EEK. I was up 8lbs. Now, I'm not one for excuses, but to be easier on myself, I acknowledge that this is not the "typical" time that I weigh myself, in fact it's about as far from my normal time as possible so I know that played a role in it. I know people say that muscle weighs more than fat.. blah blah. To me that was always just an excuse. But I'm kinda beginning to believe it. Why? Because I've noticed more definition in my legs, my back, etc. My clothes fit nicely. I even wore a pair of shorts the other day that I bought last summer and needed to "get into" and they looked good! So something must be working right? I measured myself on the 1st and compared it to my measurements around the 15th. Most of them were larger.. ugh. So I'm a bit frustrated. What I can say is that I can do 5 burpees easily, 10 with moderate effort, and I can do about 30 in less than 25 minutes, taking breaks. I'm trying to see the positives.

Food has been decent. Most of this week I ate 2 meals and 2 snacks that were dead on Zone. My dinners were not exactly zone, but I noticed I don't get late night cravings, and I'm not hungry at all! (and I figure worst case, I'm not eating any worse than I was when I was eating "healthy" before)

That brings me to today.
I am planning on doing an extra 10 burpees again today. (as soon as I get the motivation to go do them)!

** And I'm super proud of Charlie, a member of the Barn, who is competing in the CrossFit Games! Right now after 4 events, he's in 50th out of 74, there are 4 more events to go (1 today and 3 tomorrow).

Too tired

2009-07-07T22:49:00.003-04:00

Burpees done yesterday and today. (30 both days) so I now only owe 45!

Yesterday's WOD

Team TOD
Max KB Swings in 10 min
only 1 person works at a time and can only go in sets of 10

I was part of a 3 person team. I ended up with 117. (using mostly 10lb weight, first 10 were 35lb!)
Warm up was burgeners, dips(15)!, pushups (15), pull-ups (15, using elastic band and Toby) and I'm sure other things that I can't think of at the moment!

Today's WOD:

Row Max Meters in 2 minutes
Full Recovery
Row Max Meters in 3 minutes
Full Recovery
Row Max Meters in 5 minutes

First 2 mins, rough, legs were much like jello, biceps in pain. (383 meters)

3mins - Toby suggested that I aim for a 2:05 500m. I tried. The closest I got was 2:10. For the first 2 minutes my pace hovered between 2:10 and 2:30, by minute 3 I was sucking air, hurting in many places and doing about 3:00. I finished the round with 582 meters. I couldn't MOVE when I was done, my quads were killing me, my legs and arms were SHAKING.

5min. My goal was to do a steady 3:00 pace. Of course, They didn't show us our pace for the first 4 minutes, so I had to just do my best. Then went as hard as possible for the last minute. I finished at 869 meters. (which I believe calculates to about 2.88 for 500 meters -- even better than If I HAD been seeing my pace. Of course that last minute I was down in the 2:10s.)

There was NO WAY I was doing burpees right after that -- a grand total of 1834 meters!. They would have to wait.

(warm up included windmills, a 400m run (for me), burgeners, & push presses)
So I'm just about to get ready for bed and I was telling Dad about my workout... when ... OH CRAP! I didn't do my burpees yet! So I headed to the basement, and while watching an episode of the Mentalist, I completed my 30 burpees.

So now I'm going to shower and GO TO BED. I heard tomorrow is going to be even worse!

Independence Weekend

2009-07-05T23:12:00.003-04:00

Well. I got my burpees done both days - Sat(27) and Sun(28), but I made no progress on making up my burpees. I will get them made up, I WILL.

Saturday was spent running around setting up, enjoying, and tearing down the family reunion. It was our 82nd. Our reunion is unique in that it's not just our immediate family. It's a gathering of the descendants of Patrick Hanley and Maria (Flynn) Hanley. (They came to America around the turn of the LAST century). You can check out some of our family history at The Flynn Hanley Reunion Website.
There was a picture of me taken.. and surprisingly -- I like it!

After all that, I went to my cousin's and got caught up on gossip and life, and had Strawberry Daiquiri Jello shots (with banana rum). They were good! (I made them) We also added cool whip.

Today we went to a baby shower, finished unloading things from the reunion and watched Gran Torino. It was a very good movie. I was quite proud of my gift for the shower, so here is a picture of it!

I think that's all I have for tonight.
Here I go again... another wild week ahead!

NEW CAR

2009-07-03T23:39:00.002-04:00

Hi.
I bought my first BRAND NEW CAR today! It's a 2010 Pontiac Vibe -- it had 10 miles on it! I've NEVER owned a car with fewer than 3000 miles!! I love it. It has a sunroof, xm radio, a pretty awesome stereo system, mp3 inputs, even a standard AC outlet!
I think it's perfect for "the New Me". It feels LIKE ME. It's sporty, rugged, and I've always been a fan of red cars... I do like to be noticed. I really like the hatchback, although I decided I will not be toting my golf clubs all over the country, I will put them in when I need them! I'm really looking forward to my drive to school Monday... I can program 36 channels (and I have steering wheel controls for the stereo too. ) Plus.. and I thought this was really cool, there's a release button for the gas tank compartment -- no one's stealing my gas!

The down side to all this is that Dad and I spent over 6 hours -- yep 6 hours at the dealership today. Between paperwork, 2 test drives, and lots of waiting, I didn't get a whole lot of anything done today. Including my Burpees. =( I'm digging a big hole. I needed the day of rest though. I now owe 46.. eek.

Yesterday's WOD
Dynamic W.U.
Frogger Series
Samson Stretch

3 Rounds
x7 overhead squats (pvc)
x14 ab mats
x21 box jumps (2 weights)

6:?? (I can't remember)
Then I did 25 burpees.

I'm beginning to think that the 25k is a bit too ambitious for this year. But I'm not giving up just yet.

I'm pretty tired, so I'm heading to bed. A busy day planned for the 4th!

In the Zone

2009-07-01T21:45:00.004-04:00

I did it. or was at least really close! I had a great 2 block "snack" before my crossfit workout. A great 3 block breakfast after it. A 3 block lunch between classes, a zone bar snack and a good dinner. Dinner is my "almost" I went to Red Lobster. I ate 1 chicken breast and 2 shrimp, my salad, some mashed potatoes, two rolls. It was a tad high on carb, but I also brought home 1 chicken breast, 4 shrimp, and half my potatoes!!

I was kinda tired earlier but as the day went on I felt better and better. I don't know if it's realizations about my life, a new calm in my math class, the food combination, or maybe a combination of all of the above. But tonight I can say without a doubt, for the first time in a LONG time. I'm content. Maybe even happy.

I've tried to explain why I like crossfit so much. Why I want to train like this, how I can put in terms people can understand. I've used examples like Survivor and that new movie coming out, but today I realized what it REALLY was. (not that I ACTUALLY want to do this... but ...) I want to BE ABLE to compete (competently) on American Gladiators. I loved that show back in the day and I used it as inspiration when I was "running" on the elliptical. I want to be able to do stuff like that!! That's why I like CrossFit. It's helping me be like that!

Todays' warm-up
750m row
agility practice

WOD
150 jumping pull-ups (for time)
After every 2 minutes, we owed 100m rowing.
I finished with a time of 9:42
therefore I also did an original 400m row.

Plus I did my 24 burpees.

Moving Right Along

2009-06-30T21:13:00.003-04:00

Well I know I'm behind on my "Mondays". Actually, I'm more behind in reporting it, I've been doing them. On Friday I hope to have more than 10 minutes to think, and I will get all updated.

CrossFit Today
Warm Up
200m run
skip x25
x5 frog series

WOD
(I forget what it was called- but it was brutal.) We had to do as many reps as possible in each station. We were at each station for 1 minute, we then immediately moved to the next station. We did three rounds of each of the 5 stations.
Sprint (about 40 yards)
SA KB alt swings (10lb)
Dips!!!
Row (counting calories)
Sledge Hits (kinda fun!)
In 15 minutes I did a total of 133. And considering the first two rounds I did a grand total of 2 dips, that wasn't so bad.

I did run in my five-fingers. I don't think I'll be running long distances in them, but they work for the stuff we do at CrossFit. -- no shock absorption!--

I then did 23 burpees and decided that Friday or Saturday, when I don't have a crossfit workout to kill me, I'll do my make-up 20.

When I got home from class I went for a hike to scout out part of the trail. (3k in 30:52) --with rain!

**Frustrated. I've taken roughly 10 college math classes in my life. I have ONE this session that has had me near tears in 2 of the last 3 classes. I'm so frustrated in it. I think there are a few reasons -- 1.) The professor is Indian and hard to understand. 2.) He assumes we are all math geniuses that remember EVERYTHING about geometry (the class I took in 2002) and how to prove everything. 3.) He's never taught this class before and it's not "his cup of tea" ugh. I have exactly 10 more days. I know I can do it. I'm just overly frustrated and I need to STOP taking out my frustration on myself (in the form of Wendy's Toffee Frosties).

Test Results -- as handed back 62/100 (I defended my answers to earn back another 16 points) right now I have 78/100 if I do my corrections I can get up to an 89. grr.

I've been claiming that I'm going to bed early for the last 2 weeks. Tonight I am. Now. 9:22 PM (Ok I'll give myself until 9:30)
G'night

I also found something that I truly found delicious... only to realize it's probably not really that good for me. ... turkey bacon. Darn.

Holy Exercise, Batman!

2009-06-29T22:27:00.003-04:00

Wow what a day.
I started with a Run/Walk in the park. 3K 26:40 (fastest EVER!)
*widget coming soon*

Then I headed to class, took a math test (I think I did ok).

Next was CrossFit. I had a mini-(almost)meltdown. I was near tears of frustration, my hand hurt and my body forgot how to do a squat. But Toby was very patient and worked with me and then I did the WOD. Umm.. wow. I hope Sepi wasn't offended. I wasn't frustrated with him-- just myself - I just kinda took it out on him, sorry =( (I also hope he doesn't mind me calling him Sepi)

3 Rounds.
Carry 2 10lb weights with fingers to the end of the driveway and back (about 100m)
Do 60 step up onto a box (30 each leg lead)
Do 15 Push Press (just wBar, about 35lbs)
18:27

My muscles were BURNING.

I texted Ben and told him I was giving up on burpees. It was too much. He told me NO. (actually he told me "no.. no .. no." I was on my way to the Kent gym to shower before our picnic, but when I got there, I did my 22 burpees.. then showered. Thanks Ben!!

The picnic was great. We ate well, sat around the fire, played baggo- cornhole whatever (I made my first "hole in one")

As I was driving home, I realized how good I felt and how glad I was that I didn't quit the burpees and how great it will be when I finish day 100 and know that I did ALL OF THEM. So with that.. I'm heading to bed...

Oooh.... Aaaahhh...

2009-06-28T22:42:00.005-04:00

Well this weekend has been... not exactly as planned

Friday. My plans got changed due to my own laziness as well as my Aunt's scavenger hunt for wedding pictures. (My cousin, Jason, got married on Saturday and she needed some pics of my grandparents and parents-- so I was on a hunt to track them down) Then we had the Rehearsal, the Rehearsal Dinner and didn't get home until 10 or so.

(my cousin Chris's daughter.. isn't she adorable?!?!)

I did do my 19 burpees before we left!!

Saturday. I got up early with intentions of running (or at least doing my burpees) before I left to get my hair done. But as usual, I let my "brainy" project take my time, as I was uploading and ordering photos for my aunts and cousins. I got my hair done (do I have a pic? nope!) then went to the wedding (beautiful!!) I didn't even mess up the prayer I had to read in front of everyone! In between the wedding and reception I ran to several Walgreens and Walmart to pick up pictures and create albums for my aunt and cousin (from a baby shower) and for my Aunt - mother of the groom, and the newlyweds of the rehearsal/dinner and the ceremony for my Aunt. =) I'm crazy like that. Then was the reception. -- always a bittersweet occasion. I always feel out of place at those.

Notes about pics:
-- Confetti was umm.. fun to clean up (and out of updo's to get ready for pics!!!
-- This is my all time favorite pic to take. This is where the bride first emerges from the back of the church and the groom sees her for the first time. I get chills, it says so much about the groom!! (I get funny looks too... since I'm always looking the wrong way.)

Burpees? Nope. Run? Nope. Electric Slide? Yep!

Sunday. So no problem all I HAD to do today was get ready for a math test and do my 41 burpees. Could I manage just that? of course not! Ok maybe it wasn't that bad, I let myself procrastinate until 7:50. Yeah.. still in pj's. I did get some bills paid and phone calls made ... reconnecting with longlost relatives =)

But at 7:50 I went down and did my 21 burpees for today and then convinced mom to go for a walk. (2.56 km). Then we went to see St. Charles' fireworks. It was actually one of the best displays I've seen in a long time. There were a few "new" fireworks I've never seen before.

So tonight.. I AM going to bed early... right now....

(I still owe 20 burpees)

Long Day

2009-06-25T22:46:00.003-04:00

It seems they all are these days.

Warm-up
500 m Row 2:50
Samson (?) stretch
Goodmornings x10 (PVC, only)

WOD
15-12-9-6-3
KB Swings 20lb
Jump Pull Ups
10:00

plus 18 burpees (<10 mins)

Five Fingers- YAY. Loved them. Only took about 5 mins to get them on!
My foot is sore right on the ball of my left foot, I think it is from jumping (landing on the weight) during pull ups. I DO NOT blame the shoes.

Chalk-
I got to use CHALK today. (I know, sounds stupid coming from a teacher, but not that kind) The gymnastic kind. I know it sounds dumb, but I think it's really cool. I always wanted to be a gymnast! (I didn't use quite that much)

Dear Dr. John

2009-06-24T23:03:00.004-04:00

(refer to the very end of the blog for explanation of the title =) )
Wow. This crazy schedule sure is making the time fly. I just looked at the clock -- after 11 already, YIKES.
Guess I'll make this short.

I got my Five Fingers today! Took me 30 mins to get them on for the first time. and 9/10 toes were happy -- darn little one on the left foot wouldn't quite go in right. I'm practicing though!
My Shoes -- even got a color I liked!

Today's WOD
Burgener's Warmup
Mini Tabata (20 secs/10 secs)
push-ups: 9-6-5-4
ab mats: 8 -5-5-6

Alternating
Deadlifts (bar only) - 10 - 8 - 6- 4 -2
JumpRope - 50 -40 -30 -20- 10
Time: 6:16 (I think)

Plus my 17 burpees!

New Supplements I'm going to try (recommended by Dr. Sears in "The Top 100 Zone Foods"

Vitamin E
Why Supplement: It's very difficult to get the amount of Vitamin E necessary to get all the benefits without a supplement. (seed oils have the most vitamin E, but we aren't supposed to eat a LOT of those)
What it's good for: It's an anti-oxidant (neutralizes free radicals - which can induce inflammation or destroy healthy cells) Also can be beneficial with Heart Disease and Alzheimer's (as well as others)
How Much: The standard recommended amount is 8 IU for females (10 for males) however studies show that optimal health benefits are reached ONLY when Vitamin E intake is greater than 100IU per day!). Dr. Sears recommends 400 IU, which is only one softgel per day.

Omega 3 Fish Oil
Why Supplement: To get enough Omega-3 fatty acids, a person would have to eat one or two fish meals a day. (
What it's good for: Helps keep brain, cardiovascular system, and immune system functioning at peak performance. Studies are also showing that it can influence the DHA (docosahexanenoic acid) in the bloodstream which can influence intelligence, brain function, and even help treat (prevent) depression. EPA (another acid) can help decreasing inflammation and reducing the bad eicosanoids. (read one of Dr. Sears' books to understand eicosanoids -- but they {the bad ones} are believed to be causes of heart disease, arthritis, ms, depression, and cancer )
How much: Dr. Sears recommends 6 to 10 grams of fish oil per day. (this give us about 2 to 3 grams of long chain Omega-3 fatty acids) It's also recommended that you get some that's cholesterol free (I didn't this time, oops.) ok so in a nutshell... this equals out to 6 to 10 capsules per day. The bottle recommends meal time with a glass of water.

At least it's in pill form and not Cod Liver Oil

Cod Liver Oil - Great Big Sea

Terrific Tuesday

2009-06-24T00:33:00.002-04:00

Tonight I saw NKOTB -- Awesome -- as expected.
On the way into the concert (and leaving) a strange phenomenon happened. It's no secret, I'm short and therefore also happen to have short legs. Usually I have to make a conscious effort to keep up with those that are taller than me. Now I know we weren't racing or anything but on the way in I found myself easily passing one group after another, and I wasn't rushing or even out of breath. I was just walking what I thought was my normal pace. But it was much faster than I used to walk... cool. (I credit CrossFit -- for killing my legs and making them stronger)

Speaking of Cross Fit. I screwed up today, I got there a little late and had to cut my workout a little short so that I wouldn't be TOO late to class.

1 min Jump Rope
Group Dynamic workout (lunges, etc)
agility (foot ladder)

3 Rounds
200 m (was supposed to be 400 m) run
15 air squats
15 box jumps

I completed in 11:48 (I think)

This evening before going to the concert I did my 16 burpees for the day, plus the 6 I owed. I am now completely caught up!! Yay.

But right now I'm EXHAUSTED and going to bed. g'night.

Getting the hang of things...

2009-06-22T20:23:00.005-04:00

So... this weekend had it's ups and downs.
SATURDAY
I was all psyched to go kayaking, but the trip was canceled due to high water. What's up with that??!? Weren't we gonna be in a boat anyway? lol
I ate two meals according to the Zone and my stomach was bothering me... then so was my head. Mom and I went to see the Proposal (I liked it) but when I got home I went straight to bed with a migraine. blah. I slept most of the rest of the evening. When I woke up I was afraid to do my burpees -- blood rushing to head, migraine all over... didn't want to chance it. So instead I went to try a new Wendy's Toffee Coffee Twisted Frosty (way too tasty for my own good) I also went to Barnes and Noble and got a new Zone book -- 100 top foods. I skimmed it in the parking lot before I went to Giant Eagle and loaded up on GOOD FOOD.

SUNDAY
Got up and did my Sunday burpees and one extra (starting to catch up on Sat's), went to church with my parents, and then to Bob Evans...
3 eggs
3 halves of toast with butter and jam (<1 tsp of each) water (not a perfect zone, but pretty good) Then Dad and I went to the car show and walked around for about 4 hours. I ate a Zone Perfect Bar. Then we picked up roots from the back yard (don't ask) Mom brought home pizza. I gave in. =( then I went back to Wendy's for another frosty!! ugh. Had a zone snack and went to bed. (after about 3 hours of homework)

MONDAY
Today started out excellently! (I think)
Breakfast: 3 eggs, 1 cup applesauce (unsweetened) w/cinnamon, 6 pistachios, 1/2 piece of wheat toast with 1/3 tsp butter Lunch: 2 string cheese, 1 egg, 1/2 cup applesauce, 9 pistachios, 20 grapes
Snack: ZonePerfect bar
Workout Dinner (bad): Wendy's frosty, single with cheese, ketchup, mustard, 1/2 small fry. After Workout Dinner (good?): Subway MINI sub (wheat, turkey, lettuce, tomato) only ate 1/2 the bread, bag of apples, 12 oz 1% milk, 9 pistachios. CrossFit. I had thought about going golfing instead, but I'm really glad I went to CrossFit. I made some new friends, and kicked my own butt!! I'm sore. =)
I realized in watching the previews at the movies Saturday, that I want to be able to kick @ss! (there's a new movie coming out -- A Perfect Getaway . It made me think, essentially - if I were on that island, would I be able to survive? ) Could I outrun, tumble, kayak, swim, fight to save my life or would I be so out of shape that I would be the first one done? I decided that currently it would probably be the latter, but I'm on a mission to change that. I WILL BE KICK @SS strong, flexible, agile, etc.

Today's Workout:
400 m run
Burgener's
Windmill KB 5x each 10lb
Single Arm (SA) Kettlebell (KB) 10x each 10lb
21-15-9
SA KB 5lb
Ab Mat
Kettlebell Sumo Squat 20lb

and of course-- 15 burpees plus 6 owed from Saturday (I still owe 6 more)

Navigating The Zone

2009-06-20T10:58:00.003-04:00

So I've decided to give TheZone eating plan a try. I've read most of "Enter the Zone", read CrossFit's mini-guide to it (and if you are curious about which frame-size you are - this site shows you how to find out.), and flipped through several other Zone related books and websites.

Websites:
Dr. Sears' Main Site- Has information about The Zone, as well as other health related news, like how Cheerios is now in trouble for advertising its "lowering cholesterol abilities."

Dr. Sears' The Zone - Dr. Sears is the guy who did the research and developed the plan. This is the site dedicated to The Zone's products and supplements. If you register (for free) you can plug in your stats and find out your number of blocks!

FormulaZone-I subscribed but think I might cancel. It is a site designed to allow you find tons of recipes and plug them into your meal plan and it will calculate for you. Although, it gave me meal block plans like 5! It also doesn't allow you to just build a meal, the way I did this morning. They have a 14day money-back guarantee, I think I'm going to take them up on it. If I can't find a site that allows you to build meals, I'll just have to go back to my trusty spreadsheet!

By my deductions, my meals should be 3 blocks and my snacks 2.

I just made breakfast and realized that this is A LOT of FOOD! I still have tweaking and learning to do, obviously, but here's what I came up with for breakfast:

3 scrambled eggs
1 apple
1/2 cup grapes
1 1/2 tsp of peanut butter

(and I also tried one blueberry -- I had never had one before, it was pretty good, but I can't imagine eating a 1/2 cup of them. -- maybe if they were IN something that would be ok!)

I have to research a little about "natural peanut butter" -- not sure what the difference is. I also noticed that my peanut butter was reduced fat, which kind of defeats the point of it being my fat block.

So that's where I stand now. I did my 12 burpees yesterday. Today I have to do 13, plus I'm going kayaking.. I'm excited!

I Can Jump Rope!!

2009-06-18T20:17:00.005-04:00

I have so much catching up to do... geez.

First, I got my first Amber Alert yesterday. I was not useful in finding the child (although the alert was canceled within 5 mins -- so that's good) but I felt like a good person just being alerted to the situation. The situation was actually on the other side of the state -- but hey, with the amount that I'm traveling who knows!

CrossFit.
I'm still very excited. I love it. It's EXACTLY what I needed. Yesterday I jumped rope for the first time since I was in elementary school - and guess what? I'm pretty good at it!!

I also did agility work (and felt pretty competent there too!)

Today I did pull ups and jumped on boxes (well actually 2 weights stacked) and I ran, and did situps, plus some rowing... and of course my burpees (see below.)

Mentality.
I need to change my mentality and CrossFit is helping with that. I need to start thinking about TRAINING to be a FIT, ATHLETIC person and not that I'm working out to lose weight. I have to trust that the weight loss will be a postive side effect of the training I'm doing. I've been working on this and it's really nice not having that FOCUS on weight loss. Of course it's also hard because I see as I'm working into these workouts I don't get the same calorie burn rates. But -- I remember that the more BUFF I get, the more efficient my body will be at burning calories.
Ok Official Cross Fit Exercise Log

Wed 6/17

Warm Up:
Burgener WU
15 minute game of Dodgeball . .Bring It! (our game was pretty pathetic)

Skill: Agility Drills

3 rounds
SDHP (KB) x 15 (20lb)
JumpRope x 50

(I don't remember my time)

10 Burpees

Thur 6/18
Warm Up
500m Row
Burgener WU

Skill:
Box Jumps x20 (2 weights stacked)
Jump Pull Ups x15 (box & 2 weights)

Workout:
3 Rnds
Run 100
x 15 Jump Pull Ups
x 15 AbMat Situps
(13:06)

11 Burpees
Update on Burpees:
Yesterday I did the first 4 easily, then grunted through the rest.
Today I did the first 5 easily, took a break and did some other work, then had a lull in my workout so I went back and did the last 6 -- not easily, but not impossible either. YAY!

Yesterday I also bought a new pair of hiking sandals and I ordered new workout shoes! I can't wait to go hiking!! I also learned about this trail race - The Youngstown Ultra Trail Classic- that is practically in my own backyard and I'm pumped, I think I'm gonna do it!! It's 25K!(there is also a 50k option, but I'm not that crazy!) Yes, you read that right! I will definitely need to train...and learn about trail running, since it's different from running and hiking.
The workout shoes (Vibram Five Fingers) are a little strange looking. They are designed to feel like you are barefoot, but they still protect your feet from stuff! I don't usually like the "toe'd" thing, but I really like the idea and think as soon as I get used to it, I'll love it!!!
I found all of these at a great running store - The Vertical Runner in Hudson. (the owner also happens to be a member of CrossFit!) -- I don't know what color I'll actually get -- this one would be great though!

Blog Postponed

2009-06-18T00:01:00.004-04:00

Bad Weather Knocks Down Power Lines on Major Interstate
Severe weather in the valley caused major flooding and damage in the area.

Around eight o'clock Wednesday evening high power tension lines were knocked down on Interstate 80 near Mile Post 217. Traffic is currently stopped for miles in both directions. Crews are at the scene.

-WYTV

I was stuck for 2 1/2 hours before I escaped... the road is STILL closed at 12:00am. I'll fill in details tomorrow.

*10 burpees done
*crossfit done
*Ben, I'll email you tomorrow - I promise!

Confronting the Menu

2009-06-16T19:46:00.003-04:00

Day 24- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

They state the same advice we all know, and try to follow:
Don't be too hungry when you get there.
Have a plan!
Remember the big picture (it's not your last meal... )
Avoid "All You Can Eat"
Control your environment (you know, don't leave the chips in snacking distance)

These are great pieces of advice. I am more concerned with the planning one. My schedule has been thrown a curve ball and I'm rushing to get caught up and re-settled. I now will have two classes in Canton, then one in Kent. But I will also have one in Canton through August. Of course I still plan on driving to Kent to workout. It's crazy. Don't ask! (just check on me to make sure I'm still alive every now and then!)

Exercise Day 24
Cross Fit (day 1)
Well, I got up really early and went to "the Barn." I was lead through a "dynamic warm-up" of several different kinds of lunges (some backwards), some knee-up stretches, an imaginary hurdle to go over and under. I'm sure all these things have real names, but I don't know them yet. Then I learned how to do an Air Squat. Then after doing several of those, I had to do a 10 minute rotation between the rowing machine and the air squats. (100m/10squats) I ended up doing 5 rounds plus an additional row -- I was around 750 m.
After all that I did some leg stretches. As far as Toby (the coach) was concerned I was done.. but I had Burpees left to do!

Burpees Day 9-
So after my first CrossFit workout, I then did NINE burpees. The first 4 were startlingly easy. I mean I felt like an athlete. I broke up the last 5 into 2-2-1 and took breaks in between sets. But I did them. That's a total of 45!!! Can you believe it?!?!

Food today:
I don't know the details of the CrossFit diet, but here's what I had today.

BREAKFAST
2 scrambled eggs
protein shake made with about 12 ounces of milk- 1% (instead of 8)

AFTER WORKOUT
1 Serving of turkey
Banana
Kent State High Protein/low Carb "shake"

LUNCH
Subway 6in sub, double turkey, lettuce, tomato, mustard
Subway apples

SNACK
Special K 90 Calorie Bar (strawberry)
1 Serving of Turkey

DINNER
Arby's Large Roastbeef Sandwich

At this point that gives me:
147.1 grams of protein
232.4 grams of carb
54.6 grams of fat (18 saturated)
Calorie count - 1936.4

I think the Arby's was a definite BAD choice. I'll do better tomorrow. In fact I might even go for a quick "walk" right now to burn some extra calories... then it's homework time!!

The Joy of Movement

2009-06-15T19:56:00.004-04:00

Day 23- Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

Today's advice is all about getting exercise "accidentally" or while you're busy doing something else. Examples are - doing jumping jacks during commercials, or parking far from where you're going and walking the extra 100 yards or whatever.

I did that today - the parking bit. But unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to do it anymore (at least on my crazy daily routine. -- I need every SECOND I can to get to my classes. Of course I'll be getting extra exercise as I am essentially power walking across the parking lots. Luckily my two profs that straddle my very short commute time and both very understanding. I think it will work out great. (total miles today -- in my car -- 150+!!!)

After class I stopped out at "The Barn" and talked to Toby about Cross Fit. I'm really excited. I'm definitely going tomorrow to start! I have also decided (as it should be) I'm going to give this a try 100% - that means their diet, their program, everything!

As I was driving home I just felt like this IS RIGHT. This fits who I AM. This is who I want to be. I want to be trained, buff, strong, thin, fit person. -- not just skinny. I've even been thinking of how I can continue to go once class is done, once school has started... and what happens after I move?

I will ruminate on these and many more ideas at a later date. Unfortunately I'm quite tired and have 8 proofs to solve for tomorrow.

Exercise Day 23- technically Monday is my rest day. I was going to work out, but as I mentioned I am really tired, and I want to get up extra early tomorrow.. and I'm sure I'll get my butt kicked tomorrow! =)

Burpees Day 8 - On my way to do them right now! -- DONE!

Take a Daily Break

2009-06-14T21:07:00.003-04:00

Day 22- Biggest Loser 30-day JumpStart

According to the Biggest Loser, (and common sense) it is important to take time to "replenish your soul." They suggest writing letters, playing with pets, reflecting on the great things about your day, etc.
I believe that blogging is one way for me to do this. It makes me stop and reflect on my day, my journey, my progress, MY LIFE. I know I don't take enough time for myself and I'm going to start. I will allow myself to indulge in things I LIKE to do -- the things I forget that I like to do -- like being outdoors, hiking, photographing things, golfing (more on this in a minute), playing Sims, playing on the Wii. I will not be slave to the world anymore, I will make time to have fun. (and fun can be exercise too!) 18 holes golfing -- using a riding cart, can still burn OVER 1000 CALORIES! (9 holes walking will burn approx 660!!) but that doesn't feel like a workout - I like to golf!

Exercise Day 22-
Today I went golfing. My walk this morning didn't happen. We tee'd off at 10:30 ish and finished at 4:30 -- that's about 6 hours of sunshine, exercise, and FUN! I also umm.. ALMOST had a hole in one. For those of you in the area... that's Mill Creek South #7, 138 yards, 6 iron. (and YES, I made the putt!)

I also helped Dad unload a bunch of stuff from the trailer and haul it to the curb (and the back patio) --heavy stuff, too, I might add.

Burpees Day 7-
Whew. A whole week. 28 Burpees. 7 today, this is getting tougher. I was in a full sweat by the time I was done. But I am noticing difference in my body already! Thanks Ben!!

Keep Peeling Back the Layers

2009-06-13T21:46:00.005-04:00

Day 21- Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart
Today's advice is for letting your feelings flow, acknowledging them and not letting them get the best of you. I haven't had too many feelings other than frustration and disappointment in myself.

Today I binged on rotini. Now granted it was whole grain wheat, but still I ate WAY too much of it. But I've made a few decisions and got a few things in order. I cleaned out and organized my car - so it's ready for me to "live in" for the next 5 weeks. I got a golf organizer , an "other stuff" organizers, new seat covers and a front seat organizer. (I love how they show video game controllers in a car organizer!)
However I'm considering a different seat organizer. The one I'm thinking about getting has a cooler built into it. I'm considering this because while I'm on the go in the next 5 weeks it would be nice to be able to keep my snacks and such cool. It would also enable me to take healthier snacks. Of course I could always just TAKE a cooler with me, but this would seem easier - or maybe not, I'd have to pack it in the car, unless I brought it in everyday. Hmmm.. such dilemmas. The one I bought (above) has several more sections for storage... and was considerably cheaper. What do you think?

Exercise Day 21-
I didn't go for my regular walk. I was going to, later this evening, but it was raining :(
This afternoon I went for a hike in Mill Creek Park, the local park here. It was a hike over rocks and up hills and of course down hills too. It was about 2 miles. It took about an hour and half, but we stopped and looked at the plants and animals. It was nice. I definitely plan on going back and doing some of their other hikes. I might even go kayaking!!! Tomorrow I'm golfing (riding 18), but I may get up early and going for a walk ahead of time.

Exercise Decisions-
Ben has been talking about (and doing) CrossFit for awhile. I've been reading about it today and I think it's something I would like to do. It seems like the kind of training I want to do. Because that's what I want to do... I don't just want to exercise.. I want to TRAIN. I like the 10 skills that they emphasize and I would like to be strong in all of them:

Cardiovascular/Respiratory Endurance
Stamina
Strength
Flexibility
Power
Speed
Coordination
Agility
Balance
Accuracy

I found a CrossFit gym that is near Kent, where I will be spending my next 5 weeks. So I've decided that I will go there as much as I can and then take what I learn and apply as much as possible once I'm back "home." This CrossFit idea goes with my "act as if" and actually my whole journey. THIS is the kind of training/working out that I want to do- to be ABLE to do. I want to be tough, not just skinny. I think this training will help me be a better golfer, a better runner, as well as just a better overall FIT. Plus it seems like there is a huge community to encourage me, a set schedule to follow (I like schedules), and a way for me to push myself beyond what I imagine is possible.

Burpees Day 6-
LESSON LEARNED. Since I've been doing my burpees at home, I've not been wearing shoes. However today I learned that SOCKS are a no-go without shoes! I technically did 6 1/2 burpees today. lol. My first one caused me to "fly" across the living room. So I took my socks off and had much better success. =)

You'd Be Surprised

2009-06-12T21:36:00.002-04:00

Day 20 - Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

Today is about pushing yourself and doing things that you NEVER thought you would be able to do. I can see this. My becoming a RUNNER is a prime example. I wouldn't believe that I could do that before, but I'm going to. I've competed (and completed) two 5ks and I plan on doing more.

Exercise Day 20-
I did go for a run today. I went a little faster than the other day, I'm feeling back in the swing of things. I'm starting to ACT AS IF I'm a thin person who naturally goes to workout everyday. Today was a little cooler and not as muggy as the other day, that was nice.

The dip is where my phone rang.. .and I had to see who it was, since Dad was in the midst of cleaning out the gutters... had to make sure all was ok. It turned out to be my cousin - I called him back later.

Burpees Day 5
Wow. I've done 15 Burpees already. 5 today! It was SURPRISING that the first 3 really weren't bad today. I don't know if I can go as far as to say they were EASY, but they were much easier than the past few days. The last 2 still kicked my butt. I realized that this was a prime example of me ACTING AS IF I were a thin, fit person because really... what overweight person do you know would agree to a 100 day burpee challenge? =)

I also meant to mention a few days ago, I happened to turn on NCIS and at the very moment I heard the Naval Officer barking orders for his men to "give me 20 more burpees" and they were doing them!! of course they didn't do the jump at the end, but still... burpees somewhere in the "real world" -- ok a tv world, but it's based on reality right?

Monday 5: Eat Healthy

2009-06-12T11:25:00.002-04:00

Monday 5: Eat Healthy

According to their website, almost 700 BILLION dollars is spent on caring for diseases caused by unhealthy eating habits and "diet" aids to help fix it!

WOW. That's a lot of money. I know I've spent my share on diet aids in the past.

Their recommendations: Well, eat lots of fruits and veggies. Eat more fiber (whole grains). Eat more slowly -- so you have time to realize you're full.

The last little tip they give is the best one and I believe I may need to make it larger -- print it somewhere, where I can see it everyday. It seems like the best advice I've gotten in a long time.

EAT TO LIVE: don't live to eat.

This is so true, we should eat because we need nutrients to live, our goal in life shouldn't be eating. We should plan our foods, but we should not let our lives revolve around food.

(I also thought this was an appropriate topic for my "getting back on track" this week!)

Act As If

2009-06-11T23:50:00.000-04:00

Day 19 - Biggest Loser 30 Day Jumpstart

This is a lesson I learned before -- but can always use a reminder. They refer to confidence building and I think that's how I use it- but I think about it differently. For me I have to "act as if" I'm already skinny. I have to act like a skinny person. Do the things that I would do if I were skinny. I soon realize that it is easier to do things, working out everyday seems easier- the right thing to do. If I were to think like a "fat" person, what motivation would I have to go exercise. Fat people don't exercise, or mountain climb, or hike, or rollerblade, etc.

One tough food lesson. Yesterday Dad and I went to "brunch" at Bob Evans. I had my typical breakfast (2 scrambled eggs, homefries, 2 pieces of wheat toast with grape jelly -no butter). This has 635 calories. That's acceptable for a meal that holds me over. The problem came in my beverage. I knew that hot chocolate was not GOOD for me. I usually drink Swiss Miss that is about 60 calories per cup. I figured restaurant quality hot chocolate would be more calories but... WOW. My 2 cups of hot chocolate was over 500 calories!!! Recap- Meal: 605 Drink: 500 !! So no more hot chocolate at Bob Evans for me.

Although I know Dad loves Bob Evans, I'm thinking of convincing him to go to Eat-n-Park instead. That's where we went for dinner. I had a grilled BBQ chicken breast, side salad (with croutons and balsamic vin. dressing), 1/2 of my applesauce, a roll, and some diet pepsi. They had items marked on the menu as being "smart eats" and even had some of the nutrition information on their menu (very helpful). When I got home I explored their website and was able to "re-create" my meal to find the calories, etc. It even let me take the cucumbers off my salad! The only thing is it different separate saturated fat, it was all listed as total fat. My meal (as described above) was 625 calories! When they brought my chicken I immediately thought "wow that's small" but then I realized it was a proper portion size! Yummy. I'd be happy eating that everyday (or more often than Bob Evans). [p.s. Smiley Cookie: 250 cal, 9 g fat]

Exercise Day 19-
Well. I did my 4 Burpees.(at 11:00 at night) I can feel my stomach muscles being pushed. And I've noticed my triceps getting "tighter" (a lot less flab in that area).
I was planning on going for a walk/run after my Dinner meeting, but we didn't get home until 10.

Burpees Day 4
**Did my 4 Burpees!**
My Stomach muscles are SORE. I kinda like it, it tells me I'm using new muscles and pushing myself.

Confessions of the Scale #2

2009-06-10T13:32:00.002-04:00

Day 18 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

Today's advice is all about NON-SCALE ways to see progress you've been making. They tell you not to stress if the numbers on the scale don't show progress - as long as you are doing what you need to be doing.

Finally started playing the Sims. I got lost playing Sims 3. No really... started around 4:30 pm... went to bed at 6 the next morning!!! I can't seem to play for a "short" period of time. But it was fun. =) -- that's one of the reasons why I only play it in the Summer!

Exercise Day 18 -
I went for a walk-- 3.11 km. It was muggy, but it felt good to be out there again. I'm in the process of shifting all my music ...so I'll sync my iPod when I'm done and I'll post my run then.

Burpees Day 3-
**Did my 3 Burpees!**
I knew I could do it -- I had done 3 yesterday. I did them in the living room today so I had a much higher ceiling (and a softer floor!).

Confessions of the Scale #1

2009-06-09T22:51:00.005-04:00

Day 17- Biggest Loser 30-day Jump Start

The theme of the day is scale obsession. They warn that weighing yourself too often will give false information -- meaning that daily fluctuations are normal and seeing them (on the not so good side) may lead to a bad mood and make you more likely to give up. On the plus side, seeing a good improvement may lead to a bigger disappointment the next time you step on.

In the past I've been very -- weigh myself everyday-- I'm a numbers person. I need to see the numbers. I also know I did take into consideration that daily my weight would fluctuate and I wouldn't be too hard on myself if I gained .3 lbs overnight. (there's a decimal in front of that 3!)

This time I've decided that I'm only going to weigh in on "weigh in" days. Allowing myself a FEW (like 2) sneak peaks midway through the week. But I'm not going to be obsessive. In fact, maybe I'll leave the scale in the basement. I was working on a way to bring it up -- since I like to wear as little as possible when I weigh in. But I think I can do it in the basement. That's settled.

Exercise Day 17 -
Ok so I'm not quite back ALL THE WAY. I had intentions of going for a "walk" but it didn't happen. I worked in the basement all day (after I recovered from an upset stomach). My food is not the greatest -- I'm finishing up my Papa John's from Monday. Tomorrow should be a good clean eating day.

Burpee -
Well, I did it. In fact I did 3 of them today. (had to make up for yesterday -1, plus today's 2) I'm not saying they are easy and I'm kinda scared about doing more than 10 of them, but singularly they weren't that bad. I'm sure my push-ups aren't up to standard, but I figure, I controlled myself on the way down ... I went ALL THE WAY DOWN.... then pushed myself up and made sure I was "jumping" into and out of the squats -- no cheating by walking out. So I did ok. I need to find somewhere with a higher ceiling though!
Thanks Ben for the cool Gadget that will track my Burpees!
I also think I recruited a new follower - Alex, she said she'd give it a whirl too!

I was curious about the crazy name and found a really good answer - I believe it anyway....
"Why are they called Burpees, Anyway?"
scroll down to Laroo's answer!

P.S. I finally took my Wii Active out of the box. (but that's as far as it got)... baby steps. =)

Lost... and found

2009-06-08T23:59:00.001-04:00

I've been lost. I hate that I let myself get de-railed so easily. I get caught up in work, and such and let things THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME get pushed aside.

My food has been terrible. I've not logged it very well. I've lost all the progress that I had made and have been afraid to get back on the scale. But WED I will weigh in like I'm supposed to!!

Fortunately, while food has been less than desirable and I haven't had any "regular workouts" I've been active. I packed up my classroom, tore down computers in 7 other classrooms, helped a friend finish her room, helped my parents paint their room (moving furniture in and out, too), moved my "bedroom" upstairs (also cleaning out Mom's stuff from my new room) -- this included hauling a full sized bed downstairs and a Queen sized one Upstairs. I then golfed 36 holes in less than 48 hours, and moved furniture out of my parents' room (-- yes, again) so the carpet could be scrubbed and I spent today working on cleaning, sorting, rearranging, and reorganizing the basement (aka my office, workout area, living room, and parents' storage area)

Today I was also invited to join the "Burpee 100 Day Challenge." Essentially on day 1 I do 1 of these crazy squat/pushup/jump thingies. Then on day 2, I do 2 of them, all the way until day 100. Apparently it started today.. so I'm already a day behind, which means I have to do 3 tomorrow. YIKES. (2 for tomorrow and 1 for today) I don't even know if I can DO a pushup, let alone go from a pushup to a squat to jumping in the air -- but this is all about pushing myself right?

Here's where I stand. I have 19 days until my cousin's wedding. I'm going to pick up tomorrow on Day 17 of my Biggest Loser Jumpstart.

Week 4 for Mondays was about preparing for disasters. It kind of runs counter to the mission I am on right now -- which is to get rid of all extra stuff that I don't really need -- but I am working on getting some of the other items together -- like a mutual relative to call in case of emergency, etc.

I'll blog about Week 5 in a few days.. or maybe tomorrow. We'll see.

I'm back to the point of being disgusted when I look in the mirror. so I'm done. I'm ready to go. This ENDS. I am NOT that girl anymore. I have plans. I'm going to work towards them at ANY cost!!!

Monday 4: Prepare for an Emergency

2009-06-03T11:18:00.001-04:00

Monday 4: Prepare for an Emergency.

You never know when an emergency will strike. They recommend creating an emergency supply kit.

Just the other day I mentioned these ideas to my Dad. Maybe we'll actually get this together this summer.

The one other activity they recommend is a Family Communication Plan. This is when you choose a family or friend who lives outside the area that everyone in the family will call to "check in" with in case of an emergency. By calling someone out of the area, you have a better chance of getting a hold of them. I recommended my cousin in California.
Hopefully with the help of my parents we can finalize some of these plans this summer.

Take Stock! You're Halfway There

2009-05-27T23:05:00.003-04:00

Day 16 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart.
In the spirit of getting sleep and the fact that we have "field day" tomorrow. I'm going to head to bed and blog about this tomorrow. I will catch up sooner or later. ** I did finish yesterday's blog**
Day 16- Exercise
*had a migraine -ish today. I managed to cut it short, but I felt drained as I went for my run. BUT I WENT! I also bought the new Wii-Sports Active thingy do. I'll have to try it out this weekend.

My run:

The dip is where I swear there was something stuck to my shoe... I stopped to investigate - there was NOTHING there.. frustrating!

Migraine note - most likely brought on by tiredness from night before and waiting too long to eat this evening. Pressure changes in the atmosphere don't help either - storms rolling through. Took 2 aleve. Headache tolerable in less than 20 minutes, completely gone shortly after my run -- about an hour after taking them.

Zzzzzzz

2009-05-26T23:58:00.001-04:00

Day 15 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

[Long Day... will report in tomorrow. (double) -- Zzzzz is the real topic for today too! I'm going to catch some and fill this in later. =)

Goodnight! ]

I've known this for years. This is one of the hardest for me. It is highly recommended that people get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep. I love sleep. That's not the problem. The problem is that I'm a night owl (it's 10:40 right now) and I have a job that requires me to be out the door by 7:30 am. I am working on it. As you may know I've been tracking my sleep (in the far right column, down towards the bottom) This is very much a work in progress and hopefully I'll get a handle on it and it will help me lose weight!

About my day: I wasted time. I've been getting caught up in "workplace drama" this week and I've allowed MANY precious hours to go to waste because of it. I was at school till 6:30 and really got nothing productive done. I had to run to Walmart after school to drop off come pictures (the upload feature wasn't working correctly) and then as soon as I got home (8:15) my mom asked me to run her to Home Depot. We got home around 9. THEN I went for my walk.

Day 15- Exercise
Because of the late hour I chose a different route - one that involved streetlights. I also wore the bike "tail light" my dad bought me. I hiked up to the elementary school that is a block from my house and then did laps around the well lit playground. It was neat walking there, the air was nice and cool, and I was surrounded by both childhood and adult memories.
- It was my elementary school. So I could envision myself running around on it when I was little. Some of the very same equipment is there, like the slide, monkey bars, and jungle gym. There are also a lot of new things.
- I had my first kiss on that very playground. probably back then.... but also my first real kiss happened there not too many years ago.
- And of course I currently teach in an elementary school so I couldn't help but compare things to our school as well as thinking about our school (and kids) in general.

My run:

What is Hunger?

2009-05-25T20:45:00.003-04:00

Day 14 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart
MEMORIAL DAY
I spent the ENTIRE day with family (just not my parents, I've seen them for about 20 minutes today). I went golfing with 6 of my relatives, then to a picnic with several more. In addition to golf I watched a game of basketball, football, and pigs. Then we made a bonfire and watched the basketball hoop fall over -- yep-- completely rusted! Luckily no one was actually playing at the time. (they were trying to adjust the height)

Golf - I did ok today for it being my first day out. I shot a 45 and 48 for a total of 93. I had a few pars (4) and a few double bogeys (about 4). Not bad. I need to practice a few more times before the "Little Brown Jug" competition in June 6-7

I'm not much in the mood to write tonight, so I'll leave this short. Hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day.
--
Hunger. They suggest a scale of hunger (from 1 to 7) and suggest that at all times you (I) stay between 3 and 5. I can say that today I experienced both a 3 and a 5. (and the 4 in between) In fact just recently I had thought about having another "meal" but decided that I wasn't THAT hungry and settled for a bag of (100 calorie) popcorn.

Day 14- Exercise
Today was a rest day, however I played 18 holes of golf today. (I did ride in a cart though) However I logged over 10,000 steps on the golf course alone -- and I was RIDING!!

Monday 3: What If It Was Your Child?

2009-05-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

Monday 3: Have AMBER alerts sent to you.

This is easy enough. There are now ways to get AMBER alerts from email and texts.

I never knew what AMBER meant. I mean I associated it with the color - yellow is a warning color, but it actually stands for:

America’s Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response

Plus it was named after a girl named Amber who had gone missing.

You can read more interesting stats on their webpage (click the first sentence in the post). But I have also included the links to the downloads if you would like to do them.

Get AMBER alert text messages sent to your cell phone.
Download the AMBER alert ticker for your computer.

Digging Deep

2009-05-24T15:49:00.003-04:00

Day 13- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart
Digging Deep is all about pushing yourself further, farther, and harder than you "think you can". I did that today - to an extent. I thought I was done at 200 m, that I couldn't go on, but as I was about to stop a thought crossed my mind that said "yes you can" and I did.. completing the entire 400m (see details in the exercise section)
I think the fact that I'm working to become a runner at all is evidence of pushing myself. No one would look at me (as I am now) and say "oh, yeah she's a runner" but I believe I can be and I'm going to.
Everyday when I head out for my walks/runs I tell myself "It's only 30 minutes, push yourself, what have you got to lose?, it's just 30 minutes then you're done" With this going through my head I find myself pushing a little faster, swinging my arms a little harder, seeing the scenery rushing past just a tad bit quicker.

Day 13 - Exercise
Today I had to calibrate my nike+ iPod sensor. I went to our high school track and am now slightly mystified by how this worked. It would seem I would tell it I want to go .4km and then I would go that far and tell it when I'm done so it knows about how many steps it took me. But it was keeping track of the distance as I went and I ask HOW can it do that if it doesn't know my step size? Anyway... the first 400 m I did, didn't count. So I did it again. Then I had to RUN 400m (the shortest distance available for calibrating) Well.. I haven't RUN in MONTHS. (March to be exact). I did it. It was hard. I'm definitely not ready to run yet. Although I did well for the first 200 (roughly 2 minutes) then it was just forcing myself to finish. So I think all in all I went about 1.4 km. Then I took a break, stopped at Giant Eagle to get more Powerade Zero -- which curiously does have a few calories according to their nutrition guide (strawberry has the most at 3 cal/8 oz , mixed berry has 1.9 cal/8 oz, and grape has 2.0/8oz.) still a much better ratio then the Gatorade I was drinking that was 50 cal/8oz!
When I got home I went for my usual walk in the park. The first 5 minutes of my walks is usually the distance from my house to the park. Today I was just enjoying the day and decided to "restart" my time when I got to the park. I guess I ended up moving a little faster than I thought -- or maybe my calibrating didn't work quite right.. but according to all my sources (lol) I went for 3.25 km. I guess I have nothing left but to accept it. =) Of course this left my 5 minute or so walk home.
Overall today I calculate that I went a total of about 6 km.

The Dreaded Plateau: Part 2

2009-05-23T18:06:00.005-04:00

Day 12- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

Taking Risks. Apparently today I'm more interested in yesterday's advice - both what it was and what I THOUGHT it was going to be about. Rather than being about emotions I thought "get comfortable with being uncomfortable" was going to have some advice about pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Trying new things. Daring yourself to do what you thought you couldn't.

I've been roller skating nearly my whole life. My first pair of skates were Strawberry Shortcake. I even took lessons. I have a great video of me dancing on skates.. if I'm brave enough, and I can find it, maybe I'll post it. (don't ask about the face paint - I have NO idea!) Anyway, in Middle School I started skating every Sunday and then we started going on Friday nights. I even got speed skates. I continued to go occasionally in high school. I even tried ice skating a little, but I was never as fond of that, it always hurt my ankles more. After a several year hiatus from skating Luke and I started going occasionally. As times moved ahead Roller blading became popular so I bought myself a pair of blades, probably about 7 years ago. I never wore them.
Luke tried to teach me to skate in them once - but the security guard at the park informed us we were not allowed to roller blade there (it was privately owned park). So I've never roller bladed.

I've seen people gliding away in the park as I've been on my walks and decided today that I would give it a try. As I put the blades on I realized I was fearful. Sure I could use speed skates (in fact just the other week I got to remember how good I was on them when we took our students skating) but blades are different. The brake is only on ONE and it's in the BACK. In the past I've always just opted to NOT DO what I was afraid of. But THE NEW ME, says NO, you can do this and you WILL be good at it. So desperately trying to overcome my fear, I skated a little on the carpeted front porch (that now has a banister railing for me to hold on to) then I cut through the house out to our back driveway that is smoother and has things to hold on to -- like garbage cans and my dad's truck. On my way there, dad intercepted me to read an email and then wanted to know where my helmet was. (I know WHY I should wear one -- but again I've been skating my whole life. I very rarely fall - in fact I can't remember the last time I fell ROLLER skating (ice skating is a different story - high school).But as I mentioned this is a FEAR I'm trying to overcome and his concern came across as not only a doubting of my abilities (even though I somewhat share them) but also a reminder of the dangers involved with this (concrete is apparently worse to fall on than wood). It almost made me decided to quit right there. What if I did get hurt? What if I did fall? Would that jeopardize everything? Would I be permanently injured? I yelled at the voices in my head to SHUT UP. I AM capable of this and I will be fine. So I did several laps on the driveway. Clinging to things to stop. I'm slowly getting the hang of this. Stopping will be the hardest thing for me. But I reminded myself that I could turn (I held on just in case as I moved my feet) I'm trying to convince myself that I'm just as comfortable on these wheels as my regular ones. I found a few new muscles! And my blades left deep impressions where my legs were not used to skates being. But all in all... I am proud of myself and I WILL go practice more, and by the end of summer I WILL be skating like the breeze down the trail in the park (it's paved)

So I'm pushing myself. YAY.

The Dreaded Plateau - For real.
The important thing about plateaus is to "not take them personally" it's just your body reacting to less calories and that you should keep working. Continue you same schedule and weight loss will kick in again... but be warned it may take awhile.
(I will keep all this in mind for when I hit my plateau -- but I'm not there yet!)

Day 12 Exercise-
Dad and I went for a walk around the block (2 of them actually) Then I headed to the park for my 30 minute walk. According to my iPod Dad and I went 2.22 km and then I went 3.44km. However I forgot to calibrate my new sensor so I'm sure I didn't go nearly as far since my steps are much smaller than the average person. So tomorrow I'll head to the track so I can calibrate my iPod. I think I did go close to 3km though, I was pushing hard.

Tonight I'm watching Flash of Genius with my parents.

The Dreaded Plateau: Part 1

2009-05-23T13:47:00.004-04:00

Day 12 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

Before I go into today's advice and my reaction... I need to vent.

I didn't realize those emotions I mentioned not having yesterday would come so quickly. Well that's not true ...exactly. These emotions are not about ME but rather my feeling of complete helplessness.

I obviously have not had the talk with my family about getting them on board (I did ask mom about the quilts -- she said yes) but I can't figure out how to get my parents with me. I don't know how to make mom understand. She JUST DOESN'T GET IT and I don't know how to make her understand. I don't know how to lead her to understanding. I've tried getting her to read some of the books I've read. I've tried explaining. But it just seems as long as she DOES NOT FEEL THE NEED to lose weight or get healthier herself, she won't make that sacrifice for me (or my dad). And really, I don't even see it as a sacrifice. Once you get in the habit of eating good stuff, it becomes what you crave.

For lunch today I had a lean cuisine meal and then couldn't wait to eat my apple dipped in yogurt and cinnamon. A lunch that cost me a mere 469 calories and 6.5 grams of fat (including the 2 calories in a diet coke). She cooked hotdogs for her and dad. Using the hotdogs we still have in the refrigerator, and the fact that dad had a bun with his... (I don't think mom had a bun) each of their meals cost about 480 calories and 19 grams of fat (they each had 2 hotdogs). And that doesn't count anything else they had -- like chips or drink or whatever. My lunch was easier and quicker to make... but she won't see it that way. My lunch took a total of less than 5 minutes to prepare. She boiled the hotdogs for at least 10 minutes! Of course this example is the LEAST of my worries.

As my lunch was cooking, she brought in the groceries. As I helped her unpack them I was very near the breaking point. I've never been emotional about groceries before, but I'm sick to my stomach and ready to cry whenever I think about what she bought. I'm not sure that it's necessarily about WHAT she bought, or the fact that she doesn't see anything wrong with it. And her comments to me as I tried to explain the problems. Let me begin by giving a list of what she bought. Originally I was going to put pictures to show you -- but for most of us, that might instill a craving, so I will be as plain as possible =)

3 half gallon containers of ice cream
chocolate milk
a package of cookies (lucky for me they are oatmeal choc. chip - I don't like oatmeal cookies)
waffle bowl "cones"
sugar cones
a jar of marshmallow topping
a jar of chocolate fudge topping
a jar of caramel topping (ok for me, I don't like caramel)
frozen (sugar added) strawberries
sugar free strawberry topping (not bad... but seems contradictory to the above item)
a bag of marshmallows (a huge temptation for me)
A bag of regular (wavy) Lays chips
regular creamy italian dressing
regular italian dressing

I think that's about it for the bad stuff. She did also buy some salads, bananas, pretzels, and wheat buns.

When I was unloading the ice cream I made the comment "gee thanks" she said she thought it was better for her to buy this and have it at home, as opposed to paying more for Handel's ice cream (on occasion when they stopped there). I responded but "that doesn't help someone who's trying to lose weight" she replied "just pretend it isn't there." It is this lack of comprehension that has me virtually devastated. She doesn't GET that you can't "JUST FORGET" it's there.

I'll admit, I'm pretty good at avoiding temptation. I mean, passing by Arby's has been tough because I had made it a habit, but the comfort in having my Weight Watcher's One Point (90 cal) Latte bar when I got home, helps immensely. I try to ignore all the white pasta and cook my own whole wheat pasta, I try to ignore all the fatty lunch meats and cheeses that are purchased. I ignore the Ben & Jerry's she sometimes buys, I can bypass the greasy chips, but all of this wears on me. Every other time I have been successful at losing weight, I had complete control over my environment. My house had NOTHING that I wasn't "allowed" to eat. Sure I still had to watch my portion sizes, but nothing was laden with tons of fat. I have fallen for the marshmallows before -- their "fat free"-ness, forgetting that I eat way too many, and they still have a lot of calories, calories that are wasted.. on things non-nutritious, non-filling.

As I mentioned, I'm decently good at avoiding what I KNOW are bad things.. but the more we add to the house the harder it is. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. And I worry about my Dad. He does not have as much practice warding off the temptations and I fear he might also not SEE the hidden "badness" of some of the things. Like his lunch today. I'm sure he thought it was perfectly fine. I know he, like me, also struggles with portion control. So my thought would be, until we all get better at it, let's keep things in the house that are not as detrimental if you eat too many -- like fresh strawberries, apples, carrots, brussel sprouts, grapes, etc. Low fat lunch meats (which at least we do tend to buy the turkey that I think is OK), the non-fat cheeses. (I think I've finally gotten everyone on the same page as to which string cheese to buy)

I don't know what to do. I somewhat take solace in the fact that most of this summer I'll be out of the house because of my insane school schedule. But that doesn't comfort me that much. I so desperately want to make her understand. For her to GET IT. For her to GET ONBOARD, to be truly supportive.

Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

2009-05-22T22:29:00.003-04:00

Day 11- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

Day 10 Blog has been updated.

Feelings. The Biggest Loser Gurus warn that during this transformation period I may experience feelings that I'm not used to. They suggest letting those feelings flow, acknowledging them, and accepting them. And I guess most importantly -- don't use food to deal with those feelings.

As of yet I haven't had too many feelings with regard to weight loss stuff. I mean, I actually jumped up and down when I hit 3k the other day and as I see the number going down on the scale I feel my self-esteem rising a bit. But overall I don't have the HUGE emotions that are suggested --- at least not yet. Right now I'm still in the baby step process -- where I'm excited and proud over little things, like passing that fast food restaurant or hitting a distance goal.

But I will be open to the emotions if/when they come.

Day 11 - Exercise
Today was our Math Fair at school. the 4th and 5th graders set up 21 games for the kids in grades k-3 to come play. I, of course, orchestrated the whole shin dig. After being up until 1am last night and up early to finish setting up, and being on my feet, in the HOT gym all day long, I was exhausted when I came home. The last thing on my mind was going to workout. I took a short nap (that turned out to be 90 minutes long!) When I got up I contemplated not working out and maybe doing 2 runs tomorrow. But then I remembered I've been doing so well. I have a star on every day since May 12 and it would seem a waste to let that record fall. So I decided I would go and even if I didn't go as fast, it would be something. It would be worth it.

My walk was pretty slow for the first 5 or 10 minutes, then I started feeling more awake and started pushing myself more. Overall, I still fell within the norm of where my walks have been.

The Fast Food Trap

2009-05-21T06:49:00.004-04:00

Day 10- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

It's 11:39 pm. I've been up since 5:30 am. I still have to plan my outfit for tomorrow and get a shower and I'm exhausted. I will write all about today and tomorrow... tomorrow...

UPDATED:
So today's advice was how you can successfully eat at a fast food restaurant without destroying everything you're working towards. It recommended salads, with the meat from a sandwich or eating grilled chicken -- NO BUN. I find that I think I'm better off just avoiding the restaurants all together as much as I can. When I was successful in 2007, I was able to each Grilled Chicken and baked potatoes at Wendy's but right now my mind frame is that I'm not going to go to Wendy's to eat a baked potato. If I go to Wendy's I want a cheeseburger and fries. SO.. that all being said. I will do my best to by pass EVERY fast food restaurant.

Day 10 Exercise-
I got up extra early to go for my workout BEFORE work. I had a meeting after work at 6:15 so I stayed after school. I wouldn't have had time to workout when I get home. This was good planning on my part because I didn't get home until 9:30.

My morning workout did not feel inspired. I'm sure part of that is because I had worked out less than 12 hours earlier and it was a little colder than I anticipated. But I did it and that's what matters.

My run today:

On the Road: The Inconvenience Store

2009-05-20T21:01:00.004-04:00

Day 9 - Biggest Loser 30 Day Jumpstart

Wow. I fell victim to this just the other day. The advice of the day is to pack your own snacks. Even think about paying at the pump just so you don't have to go in and face all the temptation. My Sheetz breakfast sandwich the other day cost me 500 calories!!! My entire subway dinner - including apples and chips was less than that!! I'm proud of myself. Today I had to go to Giant Eagle and I resisted all the bad stuff I really wanted to buy. No Twinkies, no lemon cakes that I can't just eat one of, no cupcakes. But man is it hard. I need to hire someone to do the shopping for me so I don't have to be tempted by this bad stuff.

Day 9 -Exercise

YAY. I hit 3k today!!! And man do my calves hurt. Which is GOOD, because that means my shins do not. It was a lot harder to concentrate on pushing with my back foot rather than taking longer strides. But it worked. =)

I haven't had my talk with the family yet... I did get a bunch of new books to read and I want to get started on them. PLUS I need to get up and workout BEFORE work tomorrow. I'm sure I had a lot more to say but I don't what it was. =) OH... silly me.. today I weighed myself.. I'm down 1.8 pounds from last Wed!! WOOHOO!! (ahead of the game -- my goal is 1.375 per week)

If I can be perfect the rest of the week -- until next Tues, I will treat myself to "He's Just Not That Into You" it comes out on DVD next Tues.

TV today- NCIS while I ate dinner (about 3o mins), Jeopardy with my parents. (about 30 mins) - I felt myself getting sucked into a second episode of NCIS, but I shut it off and went to workout!!

TV Tuesday - New episode of the Mentalist (about 45 minutes - DVR'd, no commercials), New episode of NCIS (about 45 minutes- DVR'd, no commercials)

TV Monday- New episode of Greek (about 45 minutes- DVR'd, no commercials), New episode of In Plain Sight (about 45 minutes- DVR'd, no commercials)

On the Road: Think Outside the Gym

2009-05-19T20:24:00.006-04:00

Day 8- Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

** COMMENTS ARE FIXED YAY. Thanks, BEN!!!!**

Today's advice is one I have already considered. The idea that you don't always need a gym to workout. Even when traveling there is always somewhere to workout. I choose my hotels based on if they have fitness rooms -- in the winter. Or for example, when I went to Windsor there was a walking trail right by the hotel that I was able to walk/run up and down each day for as long as I wanted.
This is one of the reasons why I want to become a runner -- I want to be able to workout NO MATTER WHERE I am.

I have some plans for more family time and hopefully greater success in nutrition on the homefront. I think I'm going to call a "family meeting" (as mentioned earlier) and see if we can all agree on food issues but also I want to see if mom will work with me this summer to create a few "t-shirt quilts" with me. I also want to see if Dad will go walking with me at least 4 days a week -- at his pace. I'll do my regular workout IN ADDITION to those walks. I hope they agree!!

I started a few new lists over on the side -- one to track sleep and one to track actual weight lost. I haven't decided on what official day my weigh in will be. I'm thinking the day after rest day is NOT a good day. Maybe I'll do it ON rest day. hmmm.. still thinking about it.

Day 8- Exercise

My shins hurt. Or more precisely, my left shin hurts. I know I was taking steps way too big for me. Today I tried to fix it for most of my walk but I think I picked up again at the end. I did get rid of the pain in my shoulder and the stitch in my side -- neither of which I mentioned before.
On every walk before I read my new Runners' magazine I had a terrible pain in my right shoulder by about half way. -- yes, heart attack crossed my mind-- but I know I'm not THAT out of shape and it stopped as soon as I would stop walking and start again when I started. I figured I was too tense in my shoulders and tried to relax but it didn't seem to work. I tried to flex my fingers and not make fists. The magazine recommended pressing your index finger into your thumb, making a circle. WOW it's unbelievable how well it worked. My shoulder hasn't bothered me since. It's amazing how much tension those fingers can absorb like that.

The stitch in my side was more annoying than anything else, but the magazine also said to pay attention to which foot was leading and to switch it. I have found that if I take a deeper, longer breath it tends to switch my foot and it works! WOOHOO!

Today's walk was nice. I went 2.95 km. I'm happy with that. I still get those urges to just run. But I'm holding back. I want to be in the right place before I start running again.

I saw a commercial yesterday -- it was legal tv, I promise -- for a new Powerade Zero. -- Sportsdrink, no calories. So today at Walmart I bought some, of course they only had Grape and Strawberry. Tonight I tried the grape, it is thankfully "watered down". Not nearly as potent as I feared it might be. whew. It came in a 32 oz bottle, so 1/2 will be back in the fridge for tomorrow.

I think I've spent enough time on the computer today. I'm going to go get a shower, some ice, and start reading my new book and actually go to bed early!!!

Your Cheating Heart

2009-05-18T22:14:00.003-04:00

Day 7 - Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

Well, I haven't read the book yet, but I'm already guilty. Twice. I had a sheetz breakfast sandwich and had Arby's for dinner. =(

Ok the book says we should clean out our pantries and get rid of the bad stuff. I can't exactly do that - as they are not exactly mine to do things with. I've decided that maybe someday in the near future we will have a "family meeting" and MAYBE I'll get mom on board for real. We'll see. But part of my goal is to go to bed earlier. I need 8 hours. So I'm going to go watch Jeopardy with my parents and then go to bed.

Today was a REST day for exercise - and much needed too -- my shins are bothering me a bit (well my left one anyway)

Goodnight!!

Monday 2: Turn off TV

2009-05-18T21:00:00.002-04:00

Week 2: Turn Off TV
This week's goal is to turn off the tv and live in the real world more. This is definitely something I need to do.
I've of course adapted this to be more fitting. So here's what I've decided.

For the next week (possibly more) I will only watch my shows if they are NEW. Or if I am actively doing something else -- like working on school work - or blogging -- like I am right now. I'm even watching a NEW episode while typing.

Shows on the OK list (if NEW episode):

Burn Notice
Law & Order (CSI)
Greek
In Plain Sight
Mentalist
NCIS
Jeopardy
Bones

Break It Down

2009-05-17T19:58:00.008-04:00

Day 6 - Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

Today's advice is about taking baby steps, Not getting overwhelmed by the size of the task or workout ahead of you. I think I'm ok with this aspect, being as this is nothing new for me.

I guess I should report on how I'm doing as far as some of my goals. One of the things I've wanted to do is spend more "non tv" time with my parents. Saturday I spent most of the day finishing Angels and Demons -- but in the evening I spent some time in the garage helping dad organize and move stuff. And today Mom and I went to see Angels & Demons. Ok I know it's very similar to watching tv, but somehow going to a movie is different. it is.
Day 6- Exercise
It was such a beautiful day that I decided to go for more than usual. I did my regular 30 minutes, but then continued for another 40 minutes. The second half was much more casual, I even hiked off trail a little bit. I ended up going over 6 km.

While I was walking I had two very large realizations. (both of which I had already known, but they hit me especially strong today.)
The first was I WANT TO BE A RUNNER. I read my new Runner magazine last night and I realize I want to be one of the people they talk about. One of the people who can just go out for runs when they feel like it. The ones who make running look so easy. The ones who can race every weekend. I want to run. I want to run fast. (but I have NO intention of running for LONG distances, I don't foresee any marathons in my future) 5ks seem just the right size. Of course I reserve the right to change my mind as I become a better runner :) I'm not sure exactly how to become a runner. I'm certain that losing weight will be a key issue. With less weight to cart around, I imagine it will be easier to run. I'm also working on increasing my stamina right now. A few times today I had the urge to JUST RUN, instead of walking. But I'm keeping to this regimen. I'm not letting myself run until I am satisfied of my success walking this distance. I want the urge to run to be rewarded properly, by me being able to run for more than 1/4 mile at a time.
The second realization (again, nothing new) was that I WANT TO BE SKINNY. I don't just want to be healty and fit. I want to be thin. I want to be tiny. When I get married, I want my husband to CARRY me over the threshold. I want to wear whatever I want -- and for it to look good.
I remember way back when... I was filling out some questionnaire, probably part of one of those chain emails we used to get (before Facebook did it for us) and it asked which actor or actress you would want to play you in your autobiographical film. I remember choosing Claire Danes. Now mind you this was WAY back - when she was in My So Called Life. I remember choosing her because she was ordinary. I could relate to her, yet she was a star in Hollywood. I felt that I wasn't setting my sights TOO high. I wouldn't want to choose Jennifer Aniston or Tiffani Amber Thiessen. No, I thought Claire Danes was a good, safe choice. (I also liked her character in the show)
About 2 or 3 years ago I watched The Family Stone. (A great movie set around Christmas, if you haven't seen it -- bring your tissues) There was a scene in it that resonated with me to a depth I couldn't imagine. In that scene I saw WHO I WANTED TO BE. I saw the exact vision of how I saw myself when I was skinny. I saw the kind of person I would be. I saw the type of clothes I would wear (at least to lounge around in -- they're PJs). I saw the type of hair I wanted. I saw the kind of activities I would do (reading a book) - and how I would look doing them. I want that image so bad... I can taste it. and I find the most ironic part that the actress PLAYING that role was... yep.. you guessed it... Claire Danes. Of course since no one else sees significance in this scene, I couldn't find the picture on the internet, so I have a picture taken with my cell phone, of my computer screen.. of the movies. Please forgive the quality.
Please don't misread what I've said. I do not have some lofty unattainable goal that I want to BE Claire Danes. In fact it is more her ROLE that I wish to be than her at all. This image is just the ideal I have in mind, it is my motivation... it is the place I want to get to.
As I look at this picture out of context, (not in the movie) it's kind of hard to get the true picture. But I don't think this to be an unreasonable goal.

Pick Your Team Carefully

2009-05-16T21:50:00.006-04:00

Day 5 - Biggest Loser 30-day JumpStart

It's important to have people who will support you and not sabotage you when you are trying to become a new person. I have been trying to decide who I can trust and who -- even though they may be well intentioned-- don't quite respond correctly. I have a small group of friends at work that will be encouraging and helpful during the school year... although sadly three of them may not be there next year =( . I have very few actual friends in this area.. one to be exact. And I don't want to hold him to anything as he and his girlfriend just moved in together and he's trying to adjust to a new "instant" family. But I'm hoping I'll still be able to count on him to help me with more social side of my transformation. He helps me "get out there" and live. =)

My ideal team would include another individual who has been an unending stream of support -- even in the worst times possible-- when I was successfully losing weight in the past. Unfortunately, I think things are still a bit awkward for us and I don't think he can be as helpful as he was before. I don't blame him... and I do still hear his words of encouragement in my head and I can't wait to show him how much I've accomplished. (**although if he happens to read this and thinks he can help -- I'm all ears =) **)

I suppose some obvious choices for team members would be my parents. -- especially since I'm living with them-- but I don't know if they are in the right "place" to be supports for me. They don't seem to know what the right things to say are and tend to push my buttons easily. Dad is trying to figure things out for himself -- and I'm trying to be supportive for him. I would love for us to be a team of 3 tackling being healthy... but Mom doesn't have the same excitement and energy for it that I do, and that Dad is trying to have. She wants us to eat healthy but doesn't want to take the time to learn about what TRULY healthy is. (just because it doesn't have trans fats doesn't mean it's good for you...) I'm trying. I bring healthy food into the house... and it gets eaten (which is good) it just gets frustrating when it's NOT there, when I want to eat it.

So where does that leave me? Considering the following people for my "team":

Melissa -- who is embarking on her own weight loss journey (in New York)
Ben - who has been hugely successful on his journey (in California)
Michelle - if she can, she just had a baby, and I'm sure will be quite busy (in California)

I guess that should be my first real quest... find some locals to join my team =) I have found that finding people who truly understand is the problem.
Day 5 Exercise -
Just as I was about to head out.. the rain poured. So I waited. At least that meant when I went, I had the park to myself. =) It was a pleasant jaunt, thinking about all kinds of things... religion, nature, life, journeys, rain.
Tiger Woods came on my iPod and told me I went my fastest mile, but I don't think that's possible. I'll have to investigate that further. I'll post my graph as soon as I get it uploaded.

Monday 1: What Matters Most

2009-05-15T17:34:00.003-04:00

Monday 1 - What Matters Most

Tasks
1. Stop and Think -- make a list of what matters most.
2. Create a list of how you spend your time.
3. Organize the list by priority
4. Rearrange your schedule to match your priorities
5. Don't waste time.

For starters - #5 will be my hardest -- I've realized I waste a lot of time, I don't mean to, I have the best of intentions, but nevertheless I waste a lot of time.

Task 1: What matters to me. What would I like to spend my time on.

I would love to spend time with family and friends, doing fun things, not just sitting around watching tv.
I would like to do what I need to to be a successful teacher
I would like to spend more time doing volunteer work - I miss Circle K
I want to take more pictures -- for fun... of things I like -- go hiking to exotic places to take pictures, catch that great lightning bolt, etc.
I want to spent time working out, golfing, getting fit, etc.

Task 2: How I spend my time now... Well that is hard to say. My schedule just changed drastically since my college class ended and school is wrapping up. But a typical week this past semester looked like this:

Time spent at work(school): 41 hours
Time spent in my car: 12 hours
Time spent in class: 6 hours
Time spent sleeping: 42 hours
Time spent on work -- outside of work: 10 hours
Time spent watching tv -- and nothing else*: 2 hours (*I usually work on stuff on the computer while watching tv)
Time spent with family and friends: <10>

Task 3: Organize my list by priority. This will be tough. Right now I guess my top priority would be my health and getting that in its proper place so that I can do all the rest of the things for a LONG time.

In order:

Workout, golf, etc
Time with family, friends
Volunteer Work
Career
Hobbies -- including photography, hiking, skating, scrapbooking

Task 4: Re-arrange life to match priorities.
As I said, since classes ended I have some time to re-arrange things, however classes start again June 15. At that time, due to my desire to pursue my other goals later this summer, I need to have classes at a top priority. Right now I will say that I am leaving school as soon as I can, I'm making sure I workout and blog about it. I'm making sure I do my "Mondays" and I'm going to try to figure out how to work the rest in. I won't have much free time in June and July.

Task 5: Don't waste time. This is a toughy but I'll work on it. =) for the record, I don't consider blogging a waste of time. I have found that I do better with health concerns (losing weight, eating better, working out) if I blog about them.

The Power of a List

2009-05-15T17:17:00.002-04:00

Day 4 - Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

The list they are referring to is all the reasons why I'm losing weight. It is supposed to be a motivational tool to get me moving in the beginning and keep me going when times get tough. I've made these lists several times before. But here we go.

To be healthier
To have more energy -- to do all the things I want to do
To be a healthy parent in the future
To be able to wear whatever I want
To become the picture I have in my head.
To be able to run a 5k race successfully

Exercise Day 4-
YAY no pain! The bottoms of my feet didn't bother me at all! I had a few other muscles complaining, but nothing that hindered my speed. I walked an extra 5 minutes "out" meaning I had an extra ten minutes coming "in" after my 30 minutes was up. It was a good workout! I even saw three deer.

*I think I will be skipping "semi-charmed life" from now on -- that's the dip in the graph.

Get Selfish With Your Time

2009-05-14T19:01:00.001-04:00

Day 3 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart

Today's advice focuses on minimizing your schedule, foregoing some extras in the interest of devoting more time to getting healthy. It just so happens that in my life right now, this is the PERFECT time for this to happen.
Monday night, my college classes ended. I'm taking summer classes but that doesn't start until June 15 -- which is after my 30 day jumpstart will be over. The only things I HAVE to do between now and then are going to school (work) - which ends June 1.
Wow... that's really all that's REQUIRED. The rest of my time is free for whatever I want to do. My schedule could not be more free. =)

I guess I have no room for excuses now. This also relates to the goal of Monday 1. I need to use my time better, I tend to waste a lot of it.

Exercise Day 3 -

I am often confused by my outings. Today according to my devices (bodybugg) I worked harder than yesterday -- but I didn't go as far. Hmm. The bottoms of my feet still hurt, I can't wait until they don't so that I can push myself even further. It's amazing to me how I can walk almost as far as I was going when I had running intermixed, which tells me I was walking way too slow between running segments. I like this new training idea and I hope it works. If I can get consistent and even to the point of "walking" 3k easily, then I can add the running in and keep the walking segments at the faster pace.

Who Are You Doing This For?

2009-05-13T22:28:00.001-04:00

Day 2 - Biggest Loser 30-Day Jump Start
Who am I doing this for? Of course the correct answer is ME. But there are others too. I am mostly doing it for me -- but the rest of the world deserves to see the TRUE me. The ME I was meant to be. One of my favorite quotes is "It's never too late to be who you might have been." by George Elliot. It's my time now. It's time for ME to make myself into who I want to be, who I was meant to be.
To remind me of why I want to do this, I have a photo marking my place in my Biggest Loser book.
The photo is of me and two of my nephews from a few years ago.

It reminds me of several of the reasons I need to make this transformation.

It reminds me of the person I NEVER want to be again -- a number on the scale that I will never see again.
It reminds me that I have let many important relationships slide away and that they need to be rekindled and nurtured.
The boys are also a reminder of the children I hope to have someday, a reason to be as healthy as possible, so I can be the best parent possible.

Exercise Day 2-
Today was a great walk. I had tons of energy, my feet didn't bother me near as much and my legs only hurt a little. I chose a different song list. This one was much more upbeat than yesterday. The beat of the music kept me moving even faster. I went 2.94 km today. (I used my "new upbeat workout" playlist)

Make Up Your Mind Now

2009-05-12T20:20:00.001-04:00

Day 1 of Biggest Loser 30- Day Jump Start

This is the beginning program I am using -- of course adapting it as I go. They have instructions for some exercises.
My goal is to walk "as fast as possible" for 30 minutes then doing the exercises that they recommend. When I get to the days that are just "weight training" I will be doing both cardio and weights. My intent is that by the end of the 30 days I can maintain at least a slow jog for the whole 30 minutes. I'm keeping track of how far I go in each 30 minutes so that I can see that I'm going faster .. building into a run.
Each night I plan to blog about the "topic" of the day and how I will adapt it.

Make Up Your Mind Now
I've decided that I'm starting for the last time. I have a different view of things this time. I'm not in a hurry. I have set a goal for NEXT MAY. A whole 52 weeks away and I'm going to set reasonable weekly goals - 1.375lbs - so I will not get frustrated. I'm going to tackle things ONE day, ONE week at a time. I will succeed. I have complete and total confidence that I will be successful and quitting is not an option. I have races to look forward to, new outfits to buy, more confidence to show, and bright future ahead.
Weight loss is only part of this process to become the ME I WANT TO BE. I want to make friends, I want to go out and have fun, I want to be the best Aunt (to my best friend's kids) I can be, I want to re-learn the piano, I want to become a great photographer, I want to become an awesome golfer, I want to compete in a 5k, ....

Exercise Day 1
Today I went walking down in the park. My goal was to walk as fast as I could for the entire 30 minutes. My legs were achy and my feet were bothering me. I didn't seem to have as much energy as I had hoped I would have. But I did it. I ended up going 2.90 km. I guess that's a good place to start... it can only get better from here.

52 Weeks to the Real Me

2009-05-12T19:55:00.000-04:00

Hi! Many of you may be familiar with my other blog - Journey to the Real Me. This is taking that journey and giving it a time frame.
For most of my life I have been overweight -- ok let's be honest.. ALL of my life I have been overweight. In 2007 I had great success in losing a large chunk of that weight. Since then I have been yo-yo-ing. That stops today. Today begins the final stretch of my journey to a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, TRUER Megan (Me).
There are several different aspects to this and unfortunately I don't know enough about blogging to make it navigate super easily. I'll use tags as best I can to help with navigation.
I am using the Biggest Loser's 30 Day Jumpstart, my bodybugg, training for a 5k, and the book Every Monday Matters. Hopefully you will see how this all ties together as I journal about them.

I have several goals and ambitions that I want to achieve in the NEXT 52 WEEKS.

Lose the rest of my excess weight at a rate of 1.25 lbs per week.
Complete the entire 30 day jumpstart program
Compete -- running all the way-- in the Allentown Women's 5k Classic on Oct 18.
Beat my time in the Jingle Bell Run (5k) on Dec 31
Follow a healthy food plan.
Earn a High School Math Teaching License
Participate in EVERY Monday Matters activity.

Sports I Play

2009-05-01T20:56:00.000-04:00

I've played a wide variety of sports over the years. Some I actually still play.

Golf
Bowling
Running
Tennis
Swimming
Roller Skating
Wallyball
Beach Volleyball
Badminton

Books I've Read in 2009

2009-05-01T17:30:00.001-04:00

Summaries are from the back of the books and is copywrited by the respective authors.

"Ransom My Heart" by Meg Cabot & Mia Thermopolis

He’s a tall, handsome knight with a secret. She’s an adventurous beauty with more than a few secrets of her own.
Finnula Crais needs money for her sister’s dowry, and fast. Handsome Hugo Fitzstephen, Earl of Stephensgate, returning home to England from the Crusades, has money–saddlebags of gold and jewels–and lots of it. What could be simpler than to kidnap him and hold him for ransom? Especially when he’s more than willing to allow himself to be caught by such a winsome captor.
Well, for starters, Finnula could make the terrible mistake of falling in love with her hostage, only to realize he’s been lying about his identity all along ….But then, so has she.
Now their lives—and the lives of everyone they know and love—could be in mortal danger.
Is Finnula in hell? Or is she in heaven?

"She Went All The Way" by Meg Cabot (re-read)

There are a few places screenwriter Lou Calabrese would rather be than crammed into a helicopter with Jack Townsend, star of her claim to fame, Copkiller, and whose ex just ran off with Lou's ex. Talk about uncomfortable. But when, halfway out to the isolated arctic location where Copkiller IV is currently shooting, their pilot turns murderous and their helicopter crashes, Lou realizes her day has just gotten a lot worse.

Now, while family and friends back home fret over her disappearance, Lou is on the run in the arctic wilderness with America's sweetheart Jack Townsend and only the contents of her purse, his pockets, and their mutual knowledge of survival movie trivia to keep them alive. Can these two children of Hollywood put aside their differences and make it back home without killing each other? Or much, much worse, actually start to like one another?

"Jemima J" by Jane Green (re-read)
Jemima Jones is overweight. About one hundred pounds overweight. Treated like a maid by her thin and social-climbing roommates, and lorded over by the beautiful Geraldine (less talented but better paid) at the Kilburn Herald, Jemima finds that her only consolation is food. Add to this her passion for her charming, sexy, and unobtainable colleague Ben, and Jemima knows her life is in need of a serious change. When she meets Brad, an eligible California hunk, over the Internet, she has the perfect opportunity to reinvent herself–as JJ, the slim, beautiful, gym-obsessed glamour girl. But when her long-distance Romeo demands that they meet, she must conquer her food addiction to become the bone-thin model of her e-mails–no small feat.

"Sole Sisters" by Jennifer Lin & Susan Warner
Sole Sisters: Stories of Women and Running is a gripping collection of stories that captures the inspirational heart of the women's running. Authors Jennifer Lin and Susan Warner have interviewed women of all ages from all walks of life and all parts of the country. All of their subjects have one thing in common: Running has transformed them. There are both heartrending stories of grief and survival and lighthearted tales of friendship.

"Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer

Bella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Bella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Bella, the person Edward holds most dear.

"New Moon" by Stephenie Meyer

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning...

"Eclipse" by Stephenie Meyer

The third episode of Meyer’s vampire-romance series finds heroine Bella Swan anxious to become a vampire and live forever with handsome vampire Edward. Obstacles arise when Edward demands marriage and werewolf Jacob declares his love for Bella. Eventually, the Cullen vampires and the Quileute werewolves unite to face off against a pack of uncontrollable vampires seeking revenge on Bella.

"Breaking Dawn" by Stephenie Meyer

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife have led her to the ultimate turning point. Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or to pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fates of two tribes hangs.

Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating, and unfathomable, consequences. Just when the frayed strands of Bella's life-first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse-seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed... forever?

"The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch
The Last Lecture Website
Watch the Video

Wow. Great. Inspirational book. If you haven't read it -- you must. I need to watch the lecture yet, but it's an easy read -- have some tissues handy.

From "The Last Lecture.com":

On September 18, 2007, computer science professor Randy Pausch stepped in front of an audience of 400 people at Carnegie Mellon University to deliver a last lecture called “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” With slides of his CT scans beaming out to the audience, Randy told his audience about the cancer that is devouring his pancreas and that will claim his life in a matter of months. On the stage that day, Randy was youthful, energetic, handsome, often cheerfully, darkly funny. He seemed invincible. But this was a brief moment, as he himself acknowledged.

Randy’s lecture has become a phenomenon, as has the book he wrote based on the same principles, celebrating the dreams we all strive to make realities. Sadly, Randy lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008, but his legacy will continue to inspire us all, for generations to come.

"Beginner's Greek" by James Collins

*I don't recommend this book* I didn't like it. I had to finish it, but I found that I skimmed a lot. I think he needs a better editor. I understand that he wanted to give us the background of EVERYONE but much of it was unnecessary to get the idea. There was too much background on minor characters and actually very little interaction amongst the main characters. It kept flipping to the past -- it reminded me of Paula Abdul's song... one step forward and two steps back.... everytime we progressed we were then sent back -- sometimes 10 years into the past. This 441 page book could have been successful in about 200 pages. It's bad when you can skim several pages and not "lose" anything from the book.

Celebrity Crushes

2009-05-01T17:26:00.002-04:00

Before you give me a hard time. These are people I've liked AT ONE TIME or ANOTHER. They may have been when I was younger.

In no particular order:
Shows in parentheses are where I first saw them.... and "fell in love"
Actual "crushes" - the kind that make your heart melt whenever you see them:

Joey McIntyre (NKOTB)
David Lascher (Hey Dude)
Freddie Prinze Jr. (I don't remember which came first)
Jonathan Brandis (Neverending Story I & Sea Quest)
Christian Bale (Newsies first... )
Michael Vartan (Alias, Never Been Kissed, Monster-In-Law, It Had to Be You)
Pierce Brosnan (Remington Steele!!!)

I choose shows because they are in them:

Chad Allen (Our House-- way back 1986)
Vince Vaughn (Wedding Crashers, The BreakUp)
Jesse Spencer (Winning London, Uptown Girls, House)
Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge)
Ryan Merriman (Luck of the Irish, Deep End of the Ocean)
Rob Lowe (YoungBlood)
Hugh Grant (4 Weddings & a Funeral)
Scott Michael Foster (Cappie on Greek)
Jeffrey Donovan (Michael Weston on Burn Notice)
Chris Noth (I liked him in L&O first)

Favorite TV Shows

2009-05-01T17:25:00.002-04:00

There are a lot of tv shows that I like.
I have them divided into several categories -

CURRENT ADDICTIONS (as of 5/14/09)

Bones
Raising the Bar
Leverage
Biggest Loser
In Plain Sight
Burn Notice
Greek
Mentalist

PAST ADDICTIONS

Hey Dude
CSI (still enjoy, just not as "religiously")
Friends
Cupid
Beverly Hills 90210
Life On Mars
Heroes (season 1)
Jack and Jill
Cupid
Crossing Jordan
Good Morning, Miami
The District
Our House (1986)

OTHER SHOWS I ENJOY

Jeopardy
The Closer
Law and Order
Law and Order:Criminal Intent
Law and Order: SVU
Cold Case
Without a Trace
Deadzone
Monk
Mythbusters
Karen Sisco
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Family Guy
South Park (when it first started)
Grey's Anatomy
House
Criminal Minds
Numbers
NCIS
Dawson's Creek
Dharma and Greg
Diagnosis Murder
Saving Grace
Alias
Gilmore Girls
One Tree Hill
7th Heaven
Highlander
Pacific Blue
Profiler
Boy Meets World
California Dreams
Caroline in the City
Charmed
Homicide: Life on the Street
JAG
Judging Amy
La Femme Nikita
Murder One
My So Called Life
Spin City
Step by Step
Suddenly Susan
Two Guys, a Girl, & a Pizza Shop
Two of a Kind
Ellen
ER
Everybody Loves Raymond
Felicity
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Northern Exposure
NYPD Blue
Walker, Texas Ranger
Wings

SHOWS I WATCHED GROWING UP

Ren and Stimpy
Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
SeaQuest DSV
Dinosaurs
Drew Carey
Early Edition
Lois and Clark
City Guys
Clarissa Explains it All
Blossom
You Can't Do That on Television
Sesame Street
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
3-2-1 Contact
Today's Special
Mr. Wizard's World
Double Dare
Finders Keepers
Get the Picture
What Would You Do?
Wild and Crazy Kids
Salute Your Shorts
Home Improvement
Family Matters
Mr. Rogers's Neighborhood
Banacek
Columbo
Silk Stalkings
Dukes of Hazard
Facts of Life
Happy Days
The Jeffersons
M*A*S*H
McCloud
McMillan and Wife
Quincy, M.E.
Rockford Files
Sanford and Son
Three's Company
WKRP in Cincinnati
My Two Dads
A-Team
ALF
Baywatch
Family Ties
Full House
Golden Girls
Growing Pains
Night Court
Perfect Strangers
Punky Brewster
Remington Steele
Saved By The Bell
Charles in Charge
Cheers
China Beach
Coach
Cosby Show
Designing Women
Doogie Howser, MD
Equalizer
Hogan Family
Just the Ten of Us
Kate and Allie
Knight Rider
L.A. Law
MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Major Dad
Matlock
Miami Vice
Moonlighting
Mr. Belvedere
Murder She Wrote
Silver Spoon
Webster
Who's the Boss?
Wonder Years

CARTOONS I WATCH(ed)

Smurfs
Belle and Sebastian
Inspector Gadget
Muppet Babies
Yogi Bear
Adventures of the Little Koala
Scooby Doo
Captain Caveman
Care Bears
Ducktales
Flintstones
Fraggle Rock
Garfield and Friends
Heathcliff (everyday right after school)
Jem and the Holograms
Mr. T
Paddington Bear
Shirt Tales
Snorks
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Tom and Jerry
World of David the Nome
Tiny Toon Adventures

Concerts I've Been To

2009-05-01T17:21:00.000-04:00

I've been to many concerts. Some of the following artists may have been TOGETHER in concert, but I've listed them separately. I've also listed the venue and year when I could.

MY FAVORITE CONCERTS-
based on amount of fun, people, quality of concert, etc.

CHRISTIAN GROUPS

Amy Grant
Newsboys
Steven Curtis Chapman
Carman
Statler Brothers

COUNTRY GROUPS

Brooks & Dunn- Canfield Fair (2x), Blossom
Josh Turner - Canfield Fair (2008)
JoDee Messina - Canfield Fair (2008)
Toby Keith - Blossom
Rascal Flatts -
Montgomery Gentry
Mark Wills
Clint Black
Little Big Town
Vince Gill

ROCK/POP/METAL/OTHER

Jim Brickman- Benedum Center (2008)
Barenaked Ladies- Civic Arena, Star Lake
Train- Star Lake
Matchbox 20 - Star Lake
Norah Jones -
Elton John
Billy Joel
New Kids on the Block- Quicken Arena (2008)
Great Big Sea - Akron (2008), Cleveland House of Blues (2008), Bynham Theater (2008), WFCU Center (Windsor) (2009)
Sugar Ray
Goldfinger
Save Ferris
Kilwein Family Tree-O
Joey McIntyre
City High
Vertical Horizon
Bruce Hornsby
Tom Petty
John Mellencamp (2x)

COMEDY CONCERTS

Bill Cosby
Blue Collar Comedy
Bill Engvall