52 Weeks....to the Real Me

Day 6 - Biggest Loser 30-Day JumpStart

Today's advice is about taking baby steps, Not getting overwhelmed by the size of the task or workout ahead of you. I think I'm ok with this aspect, being as this is nothing new for me.

I guess I should report on how I'm doing as far as some of my goals. One of the things I've wanted to do is spend more "non tv" time with my parents. Saturday I spent most of the day finishing Angels and Demons -- but in the evening I spent some time in the garage helping dad organize and move stuff. And today Mom and I went to see Angels & Demons. Ok I know it's very similar to watching tv, but somehow going to a movie is different. it is.
Day 6- Exercise
It was such a beautiful day that I decided to go for more than usual. I did my regular 30 minutes, but then continued for another 40 minutes. The second half was much more casual, I even hiked off trail a little bit. I ended up going over 6 km.

While I was walking I had two very large realizations. (both of which I had already known, but they hit me especially strong today.)
The first was I WANT TO BE A RUNNER. I read my new Runner magazine last night and I realize I want to be one of the people they talk about. One of the people who can just go out for runs when they feel like it. The ones who make running look so easy. The ones who can race every weekend. I want to run. I want to run fast. (but I have NO intention of running for LONG distances, I don't foresee any marathons in my future) 5ks seem just the right size. Of course I reserve the right to change my mind as I become a better runner :) I'm not sure exactly how to become a runner. I'm certain that losing weight will be a key issue. With less weight to cart around, I imagine it will be easier to run. I'm also working on increasing my stamina right now. A few times today I had the urge to JUST RUN, instead of walking. But I'm keeping to this regimen. I'm not letting myself run until I am satisfied of my success walking this distance. I want the urge to run to be rewarded properly, by me being able to run for more than 1/4 mile at a time.
The second realization (again, nothing new) was that I WANT TO BE SKINNY. I don't just want to be healty and fit. I want to be thin. I want to be tiny. When I get married, I want my husband to CARRY me over the threshold. I want to wear whatever I want -- and for it to look good.
I remember way back when... I was filling out some questionnaire, probably part of one of those chain emails we used to get (before Facebook did it for us) and it asked which actor or actress you would want to play you in your autobiographical film. I remember choosing Claire Danes. Now mind you this was WAY back - when she was in My So Called Life. I remember choosing her because she was ordinary. I could relate to her, yet she was a star in Hollywood. I felt that I wasn't setting my sights TOO high. I wouldn't want to choose Jennifer Aniston or Tiffani Amber Thiessen. No, I thought Claire Danes was a good, safe choice. (I also liked her character in the show)
About 2 or 3 years ago I watched The Family Stone. (A great movie set around Christmas, if you haven't seen it -- bring your tissues) There was a scene in it that resonated with me to a depth I couldn't imagine. In that scene I saw WHO I WANTED TO BE. I saw the exact vision of how I saw myself when I was skinny. I saw the kind of person I would be. I saw the type of clothes I would wear (at least to lounge around in -- they're PJs). I saw the type of hair I wanted. I saw the kind of activities I would do (reading a book) - and how I would look doing them. I want that image so bad... I can taste it. and I find the most ironic part that the actress PLAYING that role was... yep.. you guessed it... Claire Danes. Of course since no one else sees significance in this scene, I couldn't find the picture on the internet, so I have a picture taken with my cell phone, of my computer screen.. of the movies. Please forgive the quality.
Please don't misread what I've said. I do not have some lofty unattainable goal that I want to BE Claire Danes. In fact it is more her ROLE that I wish to be than her at all. This image is just the ideal I have in mind, it is my motivation... it is the place I want to get to.
As I look at this picture out of context, (not in the movie) it's kind of hard to get the true picture. But I don't think this to be an unreasonable goal.